Its still just as hard
by pearls1982
Summary: Set 5 years after SB. *warning spoilers*. Rose left and has been living in the Human world for almost 5 years now. Lissa needs her help. But when she gets back alot has changed that she didnt know about. Rated M for language.
1. Coming Home!

Walking through the door to the local playgroup I smiled as my twins laughed gleefully and run of to play with thier friends. I missed my friends. Most of all I missed Lissa. Every night I slipped into her head to see how she was going and what she was up to. I had hurt her so bad when I had run of. What else could I do? I was pregnant against all possibility, and when he had said those few words to me my world had felt like it crumbled. I can recall that day well, night, as if it happened only yesterday.

_"love fades, mine has."_

_I had left the church in such a mess. I wanted to tell him about the pregnancy. But those words had sliced my heart open. I went straight back to my room, packed my stuff and left. I found out later that the Queen had been murdered with my silver stake. I wasnt a suspect because I wasnt there. Lissa called me for days through our bond and on my phone. He had called also as well as many of my friends. All trying to get me to come back._

It still hurt so much . That was just over four years ago and I had a life for myself and my children now. I had a job and friends my kids had friends. I still trained, as soon as I got my house I had a home gym installed with all the mod cons. I had even started to mentor my kids. They were my life now. A son and a Daughter. Both of them had my lovely hair but they also had thier fathers eyes. That beautiful deep brown. My daughters name is Cally Marie, My sons is Mason Dimdre. They were smart and had brilliant potential. I had considered sending them to an academy but couldnt bare to be seperated from them. Not to mention they had no idea about that part of thier heritage. I was living and working in the nomal human world with very little contact from the vampire world. I still saw Adrian on occasion and of course I went to Lissa's head. She was doing well her and Christian had married. I would have loved to have been there. The twins were six months old when they got married. I had known about the wedding for months before it happened. Naturally I slipped into Lissa's mind for the big day. It was beautiful Lissa looked so stunning and the church was full of all thier Friends and Family. They had a little girl now she was 2 and a half. Her name was Andrea Rose, and she was a spitting image of her mother.

As I was making my Chia a couple of the other mothers called out to me. They had a cup of coffee, I still couldnt bring my self to drink that stuff. Yuck. I smiled and walked over to them to chat. All of a sudden I was dragged into lissa's mind. She was frantic. She was at St Vlads. They lived there Christian taught defensive magic classes and Lissa was the resident Doc. She had flown through med school and was now a fully fledged doctor. The campus was under attack again and she couldnt find Christian. He had run off to help the Gaurdians. She had gone to pick up her daughter and the nursery was empty with signs of fighting everywhere. She couldnt find her little girl. Lissa looked everywhere under the tables in the cupboards. "Andrea its mommy please come out. Please. Please." She called over and over again. After searching everywhere she could think of Lissa sunk to the ground clutching what I knew was Anrea's favourite teddy. She was sobbing great heart wrenching sobs. _Please Rose I know you are here. I need you. I dont care what has happened in the past. I know you had your reasons. Please I need you. I think they have taken my little girl. Oh please I need you so much._

I came back to myself with a jolt. I dropped my cup and it shattered on the floor. The others moms that where talking to me a few minutes before got up and started toward me. I pulled out my phone and pretended to check it. "Oh my gosh" I said.

"Is everything ok Marie?" Tiff asked me. I had changed my name to Marie to avoid people finding me.

"No! I just got a message. Its my mum."I answered. lying smoothly. I had been Lying for years now and could do it without batting an eyelash.

"But you freaked before you got the msg." Said Sarah the other mom there.

"Yeah I know I just had the worst feeling it shocked me and then I felt my phone vibrate and it scared me. I will clean this mess up and then have to grab the kids and see what flights I can get."

"Dont worry about it we will clean up the mess you just get going. Our prays are with you Marie." Tiff said giving me a brisk hug around the shoulders.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yeah. Of course. Go be with your family."Answered Sarah.

"Thanks heaps you guys are the best" I said smiling at them both. Little did they know I probably wouldnt be back.

"Cally, Mason." I called. "Come on we have to go quickly."

"Awww but we only just got here" Cally complained.

"Sorry baby." I said giving her a smile and a hug. "But we really have to go its an emergency."

I took the kids out and put them in the car. The drive home only took 15 minutes. When we got to the house I pulled my phone out and sent a text to a number that I hadnt used in a long time.

**Got ur msg b there in 12 hrs. **

I hit the send button and went to pack clothes for the kids and myself. The kids saw what I was doing and drilled me about where we were going.

"We are going on a plane ride so both of you get a bag and pack a few things that you really want to take with you. It will be a long ride and I will explain as much as I can on the flight. I love you both now go and do as I ask."

"Ok mom love you too" they chorus together.

My phone buzzed letting me know I had a new msg.

**Thank u. There is something you should know though. D is the head gaurdians here. I know he is the reason u left well part of. I have so much to tell you. I have missed u. xx**

I smiled as I typed in my reply.

**Liss I no what has been happening. I check on you at least once a day. Missed you oh and I have a couple of things to tell you also.**

Man she was going to be pissed when she read that.

As if the thought had conjured the msg my phone buzzed again.

**Yeah i fugured u would. And i think u have more than a couple of things to tell me. He still loves u. **

Ah shit this was all I need. Well we will see if thats the truth when we arrive. I msged back with the only response I could think of.

**Deal with that shit when I get there**

Typical Rose Hathaway cockyness. The kids came out of thier rooms carrying a bag each.

"Ready?" I ask them

"Yes mom." They answer me together.

"I love you guys so much. Some of the things I am going to tell you might seem weird but it will all be ok." I told them.

They both looked at me with serious brown eyes and nodded. How they looked like thier father when they did that. I smiled and hugged them both.

"Okay lets get this show on the road." I called over my shoulder as I headed for the door.

"Where are we going mom?" asked Mason

"We are going to mommies old school to see some of mommies old friends. They need some help and have asked us to come."

"Really your old school. Wow." Cally exclaimed.

"Is there any cool stuff there." Askeds Mason in typical boy fashion.

"Yes the last time I was there the Gym was really really good. I spent alot of time in the gym when I was there." I smiled remembering the good times I had had in the gym.

The drive to the airport was quiet. I hired a private jet and we were away. The kids fell asleep half an hour into the flight so I didnt have a chance to try and explain anything to them. Not that I had the slightest Idea of how to explain anything to a pair of four year olds. With nothing else to do my mind wondered to the last few months I had had in this world I was now flying back to. I know I am going to get all sorts of shit hurled at me for running of. But I dont care I am still a fully qualified Gaurdian and nothing can take that away from me. The twins have often asked about my tattoos and I tell them that when they are old enough to understand I will explain them. They are content with that answer for the moment. I wonder what it will be like seeing him again. I cant get Lissa's msg out of my head. He still loves u. I wonder if he will conect the dots. I wonder if he will work out that the twins are his children. Will anyone else work out who thier father is. I am pretty certain that Lissa and Christian will work it out in next to no time. Adrian of course already knows and that is going to piss Lissa of to no end. Man I am going to have a lot of explaining to do all round it seems.

I shut my eyes and Breathed slowly and easily as a slipped into Lissa's head.

She was talking to someone she had her back to.

"Rose is coming back." She said.

"It will be good to see her again." Said a voice I recognised too easily even after these past few years I knew that voice anywhere.

Lissa turned to stare at Dimitri. "Will it?" she asked him.

"Yes it will. I stuffed up the last time I saw her. She needed to talk to me, she had something on her mind. But I was still traped in my own guilt and couldnt handle talking to her. I hated my self so much for what I did to her most of all." He answered.

"From what Adrian says she has changed. I will be glad to see her. Rose always made everything right, she will help us to find Andrea and the other children who were taken last night." Lissa's voice started to shake. I could feel her worry and fear for her little girl. I was a little shocked to hear that Lissa knew that Adrian was the only one whom I had stayed in contact with. He visited my dreams consistently and when I had given birth I told him where I was. He came to visit often, the kids loved thier uncle Adrian. He promised not to tell anyone about them. When he asked I told him who the twins father was. Adrian was shocked at first but now he is used to it and he takes every oppertunity he can to spoil them. If it werent for Adrian I dont know if I would have gotten my life together at all. I owed him alot he was a god send and I was so proud to call him my friend.

Dimitri was talking now. "I did not know that Adrian has been seeing Rose." He sounded a little pissed. Lissa looked at him sharply. I saw a flash of what seemed like anger before his Gaurdian mask was back in place. "You listen to me Dimitri Belikov. You will not upset Rose ever again. Do you hear me?" She took a deep calming breath and continued talking "You messed things up with her. You and your self pity. She loved you so much and you threw it in her face. Do not expect her to come running back into your open arms. To be honest I wouldnt even expect the same old Rose Hathaway that we all knew. People change and going through something that must have been painful enough to make her run. Well, something like that leaves its mark. So please be polite and keep your distance and let Rose decide what she wants and doesnt want." Lissa finished with a shaking voice. I could feel her wondering if she had done anything wrong.

"Yes. You are right Lissa. I need to leave it to Rose. She will decide whats right for herself. She has always known what she has wanted, and has never been afraid to go and get it. What time does the plane land?"

"Rose sent me the msg at 6.30am but according to Adrian she is living somewhere that is a few of hours in front of us so it was probably about 9.30 am where she is. Rose said that she would be here in 12 hours." Lissa was trying to work it out in her head but she was exhausted.

"Then I shall go and see to the arrangements for her room. You Princess should get some sleep. Its been a long day and there will still be plenty to do when you awake."

Lissa talked around a jaw breaking yawn. "Hmm-mm Yep sleep sounds good. Night. Oh dont forget to wake me for when Rose's plane lands."

"I wont. Now get some sleep." Dimitri said firmly.

As Lissa wondered into her room she heard the front door shut.

"I hope he doesnt act like an ass when Rose gets here." she mumbled to her self. Lissa sat on the bed and picked up Andrea's teddy. "Oh, my little girl where are you I miss you. I am so worried about you." Tears were falling down her face. Lissa swiped at the tears and looked at the teddy again."Dont worry sweatheart you Aunt Rose will find you. She has always made everything right. You wait and see she will."

I slowly came back to me. Lissa's conviction in me was a little scarey. I hope I dont let any of them down. Leaning back in my seat I decide its a good idea to get some sleep. No sooner do I shut my eyes and I am sitting in a lovely garden in the sunshine. I look down and see I have a red tank top and black skinny jeans.

"Adrian you could have let me sleep. I will see you in a little while."

"How many times do I have to tell you My Little Dhampir you are sleeping. Also I wanted to check and see if you were okay about comeing back." He looks at me with worry. I smile Adrian is always worrying about me.

"Yes. No. I dont know. I am more worried about the kids though. Will you be at the airport to pick us up?" I ask Adrian.

He smiles at me and kisses me on the head. "Wouldnt miss seeing my neice and nephew for the world not to mention My Little Dhampir. Dont worry to much things will be fine you will see."

"Hey you told Lissa that you come to visit me still." I looked at him with my angriest expression. He paled and stuttered.

"It wasnt on purpose. I slipped she was really down one day and started talking about you and wondering about where you were and what you were doing. I couldnt help myself I told her you were doing well and that you had a lot on your plate. But that you were dealing. Of course Lissa pounced on me and tried to get me to spill everything, But I told her you needed time that you were still heart sore pretty bad."

"Relax Adrian I am not angry. If anything I am a little releived that you told her I was safe and well."

"Get some rest My Little Damphir I will see you in a few hours not to mention my magnificent neice and nephew." He smiled and kissed the top of my head. I woke about a half hour before the plane was due to land. The kids woke just as the plane touched down. Great they would be fireing on all cylinders after a sleep like that. I wondered why they had slept that long until I heard them talking excitedly.

"Uncle Adrian said he would get us a kite just like that." Mason said

"I am going to ask for one thats all the colours of the raindow." Cally answered "What colour are you going to ask for Mase?"

"I dont know. Do you think I could get a spiderman one?" He asked his sister. His face lighting up with pleasure.

"Yep I reckon he could. Uncle Adrian can do anything." The pair of them giggled.

Adrian must have spent the whole flight with the kids playing in thier dreams. Which means he will be dead on his feet. Adrian was such a great friend and the kids loved him without reservation.

"Come on kids lets get our bags. I want you both to be on your best behavour please."

"Yes momma we will be. Uncle Adrian will be there to pick us up he told us so." Cally answered me.

I sighed "Yes he told me so as well. But remember after playing with you in your dreams he will more than likely be really tired." I warn them.

"But Mom he wasnt in our dreams the whole time. He would only come in and give us a huge pile of new toys to play with then he would say he was going to get some sleep. He would come back every few hours with even more toys. He only stayed around just before we woke up." Mason told me with his adorable smile.

"Great then he can help keep you two occupied. Considering he kept you asleep for so long." I mumbled more to myself.

"But mom he said we should stay asleep because you were going to have a lot to deal with." Cally informed me with a big cheesy grin.

The door opened and we walked down the steps I could see the car and Adrian striding towards us. Then I heard a shriek and looked past Adrian to see Lissa running towards me with tears running down her face. Her emotions battered me. Love, Relief, Worry, Happiness. all of it was thrumming through our bond. I hurried down the last few steps and dropped the bags as she flung herself at me.

"Shh. Its ok Im here now. I will get this straightened out. We will get her back Liss we will get them all back." I said all this to sooth her.

I had no idea how or where to start. I could hear the kids yelling.

I turned to looke at them and smiled.

"Uncle Adrian, Uncle Adrien. Can you get us a kite. Just like the one in our dream. Please. Please. Please." They yelled in unision. Launching themselves towards Adrian.

Adrian laughed he knelt down to hug them both at the same time.

I turned back to Lissa she was looking at me with her mouth hanging open. "Rose" She whispered "You have children. Twins. you never told me." She turned to Adrian and glared at him "Adrian" she yelled "why didnt you tell me?"

Adrian looked at her and shrugged "Wasnt my place" was all he said.

Lissa turned back to me with accusing eyes.

"Rose, why didnt you tell me?" Lissa said to me. I could feel the hurt and worry that she had done something wrong to me.

"Lissa this wasnt about you. It was about me. I needed time and space. I needed to work out my own head without worrying about everyone else. Liss I am sorry that I have hurt you but I couldnt think of anything else to do. Maybe I should have done things differently but I cant go back now I cant change what I did. All I can do is ask that you forgive me and try to understand."

Lissa looked at me with tears streaming down her checks. "Oh Rose. I am sorry. I didnt think about what you might have needed. Still it would have been nice to have known. Now I have to make up for missed Birthdays and christmasses." She sniffed primely.

I laughed. It felt good to laugh. Adrian straightened up and grabbed the kids bags. I called the kids over to me.

"Lissa these are my beautiful children. This beautiful younge lady is Cally Marie. And the handsome younge gentleman is Mason Dimdre." Lissa gasped at hearing my sons name then she smiled and I felt approval through our bond. "Kids this is Vasilisa Dragomir an old friend of mine. My best friend" I said to them

Lissa knelt so that she was at eye level with the kids. "It is very nice to meet two such beautiful children. I would be honoured if you would call me Aunty Lissa. After all I am closer to your mom than a sister could ever be."

"Wow your so pretty. Are you who momma visits every night." I sighed thats my Cally straight to the point.

I jump "Hang on a minute. How do you know I go and visit her Cally?" I ask.

"We see it momma. On the colours around you. Its what happened today at playgroup when you dropped your drink and it broke all to pieces."Mason answered.

I looked at Adrian "Did you know about this?" I ask him.

"I suspected. But I had no proof just slips the children made whilst they were talking to me. They are unique you know that." He smiled at me. "Dont worry My Little Dhampir. We will deal with this. They are young still we have plenty of time."

"Yeah I guess you are right. So how about we get out of this weather." I ask "Oh who is driving?"

"That would be me" Says a smooth deep voice behind me.

I turn slowly and look into deep brown eye.

"Its good to see you again Rose" He says with a hint of a smile.

"Momma Momma. can we go" Says Mason

"Because we are hungry Momma" Cally Finishes the sentence.

I glance a Dimitri. He is looking at the twins with complete awe on his face. Great I hope he doesnt say or do anything infront of the twins.

"Nice to see you again Gaurdian Belikov" I say in my hardest voice. I was angry and hurt and so didnt want to deal with him right now.

I turn to the kids " come on you two into the car"

They climb in argueing over who was going to sit where. I smiled indulgently at them and climbed in once they were settled. I actually laughed when I noticed that they were sitting on either side of Adrian. He smiled at me. I lent over the seat and gave him a quick hug.

"Thanks for the peaceful flight." I whisper in his ear.

He smiles warmly at me again. "No problems My Little Dhampirs"

he says. I turn around in my seat and put my seatbelt on. "Kids buckle up" I say over my shoulder.

"All taken care of." Adrian answers. I smiled to myself of course he would have made sure the kids were buckled in. I looked to the front and Dimitri caught my eye in the rear view mirror. He looked at me sadly. I looked away. I am not going to deal with this infront of the was sitting next to me and we made our way to the school in silence. Lissa kept glancing between me and Dimitri. I caught her eye and shook my head slightly.

_You are going to have to talk to him sooner or later. _

I looked at her and flicked my eyes to the back where the kids were sitting.

_Oh I get it not in front of the kids. Yeah that would be smarter. hey I know if you want Adrian and I can look after the kids and you can talk to Dimitri._

I felt like she had electricuted me. "No I dont want" I hissed at her.

Lissa just looked at me and raised her eyebrows. I sighed and turned my head so I could look out the window. As I did I noticed Dimitri watching me intently.

"Arent you supposed to have your eyes on the road" I ask tartly.

His lips just curled up at the corners in that little half smile he always did. I growled under my breath and stared out the window.

When we arrived at the school I leapt out of the car and walked around the back to get the bags out. As I was getting them out I felt someone behind me I couldnt be bothered looking up.

"Would you like a hand with those." Asked that same smooth voice.

I glanced up "No just leave me alone. I can handle it. Give. Me. Some .Space." I panted trying to get the last two bags out they were jammed in tight. At last they popped out together and carried by the momentum the bag I had swung around a hit Dimitri on his hip knocking him down. I lost my balance and landed on my ass also. Dimitri started chuckling. That did it my anger boiled to the surface. I started yelling "Do not laugh at me Dimitri Belikov. You dont get to laugh. You dont get to be all happy and smiley. No. You dont get that. .." I got up and stalked of I was so angry I was shaking. I headed for the gym. I needed to punch something. I entered the Gym and started my warm up. When Lissa contacted me.

_Adrian and I have the kids and the bags all sorted. You do what you need to._

I smiled and walked over to the practise dummies. I started kicking and punching as hard as I could. I must have been in here for almost an hour when I heard the door go. I didnt bother to turn around. I just kept hitting the test dummies.

"Roza we need to talk."

I huffed and hit the dummy once more before I turned around.

"I have nothing to say to you." I told him. wiping sweat off my forhead.

"I have much I want to say to you." He answered.

"Yeah well I'm not much in the mood for listening. So just suck it up and deal with it. I had to once." I saw him flinch and got satisfaction that i had hit a nerve. I walked past him towards the door that led to the track.

"Mind if I join you" he asked whilst streching.

"Yeah actually I do. I like my personnel space." I put my head phones in my ears and turned the volume up on my ipod. I jogged out the door and set myself an easy pace. Pushing myself on every second lap. I saw movement at my side and turned my head to get a better look. Sure enough there was dimitri jogging beside me. I sighed to my self and kept running he kept pace with me barely. I ran like this everyday. I had a feeling he had let himself slip a little. He still looked good though. I tuned out those thoughts and listened to my music again.

I was onto lap eighty when Dimitri left me to it that was fine with me I still had another twenty to go. I pushed my self to the limit on the final ten. As I cooled down Dimitri walked out with a water bottle and handed it to me. As I took it my fingers brushed his. It felt like and electric shock passed through us. After all this time we still had that. I snatched my hand back. I pulled my head phones out of my ears as I continued walking to cool down.

"You do a hundred laps every time?" he asked me with a smile.

I couldnt help but answer it had been so long since I had someone to talk training with. "Yeah I built up to it you know gradually. I had to get back into shape after I had the twins." I continued walking. If I didnt cool down properly I would be sorry. He was quiet for so long that I thought he had left me to it. I looked over and he was watching me walk.

"That must have been hard." He said. I just smiled and nodded my head.

"Roza the twins." I cut him off I didnt want to talk about this just yet.

"No. Not yet. I am not ready to tell the twins story yet. Please, I need everyone to just wait and be patient." He nodded his head in understanding. I smiled a small smile and walked of. As I left the Gym I ran into Christian he saw me and smiled. "Rose its great to see you" He said and gave me a huge hug. I was a little gobsmacked at the show of affection. We had had a antagonastic relationship at best. But I guess people change and grow up. I know I had to in a hurry. "Its good to see you to Sparky." I say smiling.

"I wish it was under better circumstances though." He said whilst running his fingers through his already messed up hair.

"Yeah so do I. We will get her back. I am going to check on the kids then I am going outside the wards to see what info I can get." I tell him.

"Huh? What kids? Whose kids?" He asks me with shock clear on his face.

I look at him. Obviously no one told him I have two children. I smiled and said

"Gee Pyro your getting behind the times arent ya? I have twins a boy and a girl."

"Seriously?" he askes me.

"Yup" I answer.

"Well go you. How old are they? I thought the only person you saw was Adrian. Are they his?"

"They are four and I will tell you about them when I tell Lissa." I answer him.

"But if they are four that means you where when you left. Wow. That must mean that they are. Does he know?"

"No." I answer quickly. " He doesnt know though I expect he suspects. Its hard not to. You will understand when you meet them. So far you are the only one other than Adrian who has figured it out. Please dont say anything I need to do this my way. Its going to be hard enough on the twins as is to meet thier Daddy."

"Yeah no prblems I wont say anything. They must be very special to have the parents they do. Dont tell me theyhave your appetite though. Because if they do we wont have any food left on campus after one meal." he laughs.

"I am not that bad" I say punching his arm."How has Lissa been I keep getting the feeling that she is in denial about what has happened."

"Ow. And yes I think she is. She keeps locking herself in Andreas room with her teddy and talking like Andrea is still there with her. Rose I dont know what it will do to her if anything happens to our little girl." A single tear rolls down his face.

"Hey we will work this out. I will work this out." I tell him and hug him with one arm around his shoulders.

"I was so glad when Lissa told me about your msg. Strange huh me being glad that you wer coming" He smiled

"Yeah well alot has happened since we were at school" I say to him.


	2. Facing the Truth

Christian laughed "Yeah thats for sure."

We walked over to the family residential area. I stoppped. "Hey this is new" I say.

"Yeah the school board decided it would be benificial if those teachers who had families were able to stay together. Its a great idea, so many more are willing to teach. Cant say I would have been willing to teach if I couldnt have Lissa and Andrea with me." Christian said the last bit in a whisper. I put on a cheerful voice.

"Hey it is a great idea, and Christian we will get Andrea back you know that dont you?"

"Yeah I guess." he mumbles. I grab his hand and tow him along

"Well come on and meet the twins. If you show em your pyro tricks they will want to be your bestest friends." I laugh "But if they start trying to set things on fire then I will quite happily kick your butt"

He laughes at this and holds the door open for me. "So good to have you back Rose. So good."

We walked up stairs to the rooms that he and Lissa have. I laughing inside and sigh. "Bet Adrian is teaching them something that will get them into trouble again." Christian laughes as we walk through the door.

"Momma Momma." I am greeted by thier chorus as they engulf me in a hug. I kiss each of them on the head. "Mason, Cally this is" I begin the introduction but am cut of.

"Uncle Christian" Says Mason

"Aunt Lissa's Husband" Cally chimes in.

"He can do fire tricks" Finishes Mason smirking. Christian laughs.

"Told you so." I whisper to him. He winks at me and turns to the children.

"Nice to meet you. Now what sort of fire tricks were you told that I could do?" He asks them. That started the twins in on a full on assult. Both of them were talking at once at full volume. I laughed it was so good to be back amongst family. Adrian is sitting on the sofa smiling at the three of them. I walked over and sat beside Him.

"My Little Dhampir it is so good to have you and the twins back where you belong." He says hugging me.

"I was just thinking the same think. Where is Lissa?" I ask.

"In Adreas room again" Adrian looks worried. "I dont know what she is doing. I am real worried about her."

"She is in denial. I am going to go and talk to her."

"But she locks the door."

"Thats fine" I say with my usual sass. "She will either open the door or I will break it down."

"As long as it gets replaced" Christian pipes up from the floor where he is sitting with the twins.

"Yeah, Yeah what ever" I said waving my hand at him dismisively.

I walked over to the door that Adrian had indicated and knocked on it. I could hear Lissa inside talking away. I knocked again louder. She still didnt answer.

"Lissa" I yelled at the top of my voice everyone in the loungeroom jumped and covered thier ears. "You open this door right now before I break it down. We need to talk and I would rather do it privately."

_Not now Rose._

I heard her say through the bond. Oh hell no she was not going to fobb me off. She needed to deal with this and deal now. "Dont you give me not now Vasilisa Dragomir. Open this damn door and make it quick I am running out of patience." I kept yelling. I felt the feeling of resignation and hurt come through the bond as I heard the door unlock. It didnt open though. I looked over my shoulder and met five sets of worried eyes. Dimitri had come in whilst I was yelling at Lissa. I smiled my cocky smile and winked at them all. I walked into the room. It was beautiful it had a princess theme. With dolls and fairy costumes every where. Lissa sat in a rocking chair in the corner cradling the Teddy. I walked over to her putting my hand on her shoulder. I spoke gently "Liss you need to stop this. We will get her back safe. You cant keep doing this to yourself its not good you are worrying everyone." She looked up at me her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

"But I cant if I stop then she really isnt here. and. and I cant handle that Rose I want my baby. I want my little girl back." She broke down into great heaving sobs. I wrapped my arms around her and held on while she let out all the grief and worry that she had built up since Andrea was taken. After some time her sobbing gave way to little hiccups. I reached over and handed her a tissue from the box on the bedside table. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

"You feel a bit better?" I asked her. She sniffled and gave me a small smile.

"Yeah a little. You will get her back wont you Rose?" she asked me. I smiled and said what any good friend would say. "Yep I will get her back." even though I wasnt certain that we would be able to I was going to try my ass of. We walked out into the lounge with our arms around each other. Everyone turned to look at us and a thick silence fell. Trust Christian to break it.

"Hey sweet heart. How you doing now?" he asked while he was getting up from off the floor. She smiled at him and walked over to give him a hug.

"Aunt Lissa are you okay now?" Mason asked from where he was sitting on the floor Cally looked up when her brother spoke "Your colours look good. Not like before before they made me sad when I looked at them." she said. I looked straight at Adrian and he looked at me. This was new. We needed to talk about it soon. "Thanks sweeties." Lissa said looking at the twins "I am not good but I am better than I was. Your mom is a great lady I missed her so much."

"We love our Momma" The Twins chorused.

"Your momma has many people who love her. She is a lucky woman." Said Dimitri from the couch in the corner. I glared at him. Adrian caught the glare.

"Hey kids." he said. "You want a tour of the school."

"Yeah can we see the Gym?" Mason asked.

"And momma's dorm room?" Cally asked.

"Momma told us she met a Da at school." Mason was boucing up and down.

"Do you know who he is. Momma said we could meet him one day." Cally was looking just as bouncy as her brother was. Adrian just glanced as me and ushered the kids out the door.

"You met thier father at this school?" Lissa asked as soon as the door was closed.

I glanced around room not meeting anybodies eyes. I walked over to the far wall and leaned against it. "Yeah I did." I mumbled. Looking down at the floor.

"Well I wonder." Lissa mused. I glanced up at met Dimitris eyes. He had a the question written all over his face. I nodded at him slightly, his eyes widened.

"Roza. Why didnt you tell me." He breathed. Lissa looked from me to Dimitri.

"Oh" She said eyes wide "They are Dimitri's children arent they?"

I looked at Liss and nodded then I looked at Dimitri. He looked at me with accusing eyes and that made me mad as hell "Oh hell no" I said looking in his eyes "You do not get to make me feel bad with one of your looks" I was getting louder with every breath. "You are the one that made the decision. You have no idea what I went through. What I've been through. You. Do. Not. Get. To. Play. The. Wounded. Party. Here." I said through clenched teeth. I was that mad I was trembling. I spun on my heel and started paceing.

"How could you not tell me?" He said quietly "How could you leave?"

"You didnt want me." I whispered looking right at him. It was as if no one else was in the room. "I couldnt handle being around you and feeling that hurt everyday. I needed to heal. You left me with a great big gapping hole in my chest Dimitri. I hurt so much." I sat on the floor in the corner pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

Dimitri looked at me "In the church, the last time I saw you. Did you know you were pregnant?" I put my head on my knees and took a deep breath. I knew I would have to do this but it was still hard. I looked up again "Yes I knew. I had found out the night before. I was going to tell you, but, well you know what happened. When you said that to me. I just forgot about being pregnant. I know it sounds stupid, but I had only just found out and I forgot. I didnt want to live anymore. If I wasnt pregnant." I took a deep breath. "If I wasnt pregnant I dont think I would be here today. I lost all intrest in life. If it wasnt for Adrian I dont know what would have happened to me or the twins."

"Rose" Lissa exclaimed "Why didnt you tell me. You could have come to me. I would have helped you. I made a promise to you. Why tell Adrian and not me." I felt saddness and regret coming from her.

"First of all Liss, I didnt tell Adrian over you he kept visiting my dreams after I had left. He noticed how bad I was looking and that I had a baby bump. He eventually found out where I was and came and got me. He bought the house that I have lived in for the past four years. He was there for me. I think back to how I was living before Adrian helped me, and well, it was stupid. I just couldnt see past the pain. Those kids are the best thing that has every happened to me. They bring me so much joy. I knew that one day I would have to explain me actions. I am not sorry for what I did. I am sorry for not staying in contact and I am sorry for the things I have missed that I should have been here for. The past cant be changed, I have to live with what I did and I have no regrets." I felt my eyes brimming with tears, well I had maybe one regret and he was watching me intently. I stood up and brushed my hands over my pants. "I have to go for a walk. I need some air." Everyone nodded. I walked out into the hallway and made my way outside. Standing in the cool night air I tilted my head back and looked at the stars. I untied my hair and sighed it was getting so long now. As I staightened up I heard someone behind me and turned to see who it was. Dimitri was standing a few steps away from me watching me intently. I smiled at him.

"Your hair has gotten so long. I am glad that the twins have your hair. Its the first thing I noticed when you all got off the plane." He said to me. I looked back up at the stars.

"yeah well they got your eyes." I said. It was one of the few traits my children had inherited that I found to be heart warming and heart wrenching at the same time.

"Oh Roza, I have made so many mistakes. Mistakes that have cost me so much. But how is it possible that we, two Dhampirs could have children."

"Adrian thinks it might have something to do with me being shadow kissed. Not that I thought about it to much. All I knew was I was pregnant, with twins and I was by myself." I answered him honestly.

"I dont know wether to feel jelousy or gratitude towards Adrian." He said so quietly that I almost didnt hear him. I spun around and glared at him.

"Why the hell do you think you are intilted to either feeling?" I hissed at him.

Dimitri looked shocked by what I have said he blinks and answers me.

"Well Gratitude for him looking after you and the children when I should have been, and jealousy because Roza I still."

"No" I shouted at him "Do not say that Dimitri. I will not hear those words from your mouth ever again do you hear me. You Broke me so bad, so bad. I was willing to die just to stop the pain. I have rebuilt my life. I have patched up my soul, and I have worked out how to live with a broken heart. No one will ever do that to me again. No one. You are welcome to be a part of the childrens lives but do not try to fuck with me. I am not the same woman I used to be."

"No you are not" he said simply "Just like I am not the same man I was. Do you know how it felt to look at you and know what I did to you in Russia? You the only person who I have ever loved. I remember what I did to you and now it turns out you were pregnant at the time also. I remember thinking that your blood tasted different I just figured that it was because I wanted you so much. It took me a long time to be able to look into the mirror and accept the man I saw looking back at me. I needed time. I realise now that it was time that you didnt have. When I found out that you had left I was annoyed at first. I thought it was just one of your childish pranks. Then as time went on and you didnt come back I started to worry. When Lissa and Christian married and you didnt show up I started to panic. I thought the worst had happened. I started searching for you. Adrian found out and told me that you were alive and healthy, that you just needed time. Thats all he said but the way he said it. With such anger in his eyes. He told me to stop searching and to leave you be. That you would come back when you were able to. I did as he asked for you. I will always do anything for you."

I looked at him he had tears running down his face. It was probably the longest speach I had ever heard him make. I walked over to him and wiped the tears away with my thumb.

"Comrade. You cant change the past. You have to learn to live with it. I have and I think the worst part is after what happened between us I am unable to wear my heart on my sleeve like I used to. I dont beleive I can ever give it to anyone ever again. You need to accept that. I have. Its like I said You cant change the past."

"Oh Roza I have done so much damage to you havent I? Is there truly nothing I can do?" He asks.

I shake my head at him and look down. I do love him still. Maybe I will always love him, but I will never let him hurt me again. I wont survive that a second time. I force a smile on my face and look up at him


	3. Ghosts and Changes

"Walk with me to the wards and I will tell you about your children." I say.

"That would be wonderful. I have long wanted a family." He says with warmth in his voice. I look over at him again and see that he is smiling that rare full smile that I loved so much.

"Well lets see where do I start." I ask.

"What are thier names. I have not been properly introduced to them." He answers me like I asked a question.

"well our daughters name is Cally Marie and our sons name is Mason Dimdre."

"You named him after your friend. The young man who died in spokane." Dimitri says looking at me. I smile a small sad smile and nod my head. Mason was my best male friend. He had a crush on me and we tried dating but I couldnt lie to him like that. My heart belonged to someone else then, well it still did. He was murdered by a strigoi. I killed the two strigoi and had recieved my first molninja marks. It wasn't the big celebration I had always thought it was. It was a very sobering moment for a seventeen year old who thought she knew all there was to know about the outside world.

"Masons middle name is a blending of your name and Lissa's brother. He was always good to me even if he wasnt to other girls." I said in a hushed voice.

"I had wondered about his middle name. Where did you get the name Cally from?" He asked.

"Oh, from when Lissa and myself where on the run. We had a housemate with that name. She was nice and I liked the name. She lived at the house you caught us at. Do you remember that night?" I say.

Dimitri chuckled "Yes I do remember that night. You were so young, but I knew you had greatness in you."

I blushed at the compliment. Truth be told I was a nieve girl trying to protect her best friend the only way I thought I could. Man how my life had turned out so differently frim what I had envisioned back then. We were getting closer to the front gate and the boundry that was the end of the wards. I had let all my inner barriers down when we had arrived at the school. The ghost that I saw couldnt get to me inside the wards. I had become very adept at keeping the barriers up with out much thought. Living in the human world, I couldnt depend on wards of any kind. I sighed. "This is going to be a pain in the ass." I say into the night air.

Dimitri looked sharply at me. "How did you handle it whilst living out there? Didnt they drive you crazy?"

"Nah" I say nonchelantly "I learnt how to keep up my inner barriers so well that I could do it whilst I was sleeping. I only let them down when I need to talk to the ghosts." I saw Dimitri flinch. "Is the badass gaurdian scared of the little ghosts?" I teased punching him in the arm. He drew himself up to his full height.

"There is nothing wrong with having some respect for spirits." He murmers.

I laughed outloud at this. "sure sure comrade" I say as I walk the last couple of feet to the gate. One of the Gaurdians at the gate comes out to meet us.

"Gaurdian Belikov, Gaurdian Hathaway. Good to see you again. Have you come back to work?" He asks. I look at him and am shocked to realise who it is.

"Gaurdian Alto good to see you again sir." I say feeling all of seventeen again.

"I see someone has taught you some respect along the way." He smiles.

"Yeah well I got kids of my own now and have to lead by example, and yes I have come back to work. Lissa has asked me to come back to see if I can find her daughter. I need to step onto the otherside of the wards for a moment though." Stan blanched at what I said but I dont know if it was me saying I had kids, or the fact that I wanted to get to the other side of the wards. Maybe he remembers that I can see and communicate with ghosts. Perhaps its all of the above. I smile at him what I hope is a pleasant smile.

"Hmm I see" Is all he said. He turned and walked back into the gaurd house.

He was back in a moment "Go through the gate. But stay where we can see you. Will you be accompanying her Gaurdian Belikov?" Stans voice was business like.

"I will if Rose says its okay with her." Dimitri answers Stan. Then he turns to me with a question in his eyes. I nod my head and remember that we always had a way of talking without saying anything. I had forgotten, I wonder what else I have forgotten.

I walk out the gate and feel the pressure build behind my eyes. I take a couple of deep breaths to calm myself. Then I let down the slightest bit of my barriers there is only one ghost who I want to talk to. I look around and see her standing as reaglly as she always did. Usually most ghosts move on after 40 days and 40 nights. But this one in particular has stayed around. She says she is not done helping the moroi even if she is dead. I havent spoken to her for a while simply because every time I did she would harp about me going back and doing what fate needed me to do with my life. Like I had no choice. Oh well at least she might be a bit nicer to me considering that I am back.

"Tatiana it is good to see you again." I say opening the conversation.

"Is it really?" she asks tartly. I smile still the same old queenly air to her.

"At least you have come back and just in the nick of time." she continues on.

"I have come to ask you about Andrea. Vasilisa's Daughter. She was taken last night and I need to find her. Is she still alive?" I ask figureing that I dont have to explain everything to her as she would no doubt already know.

"Tutt Tutt" She says " Have you learned no manners at all?" She asks.

I am gobsmacked I was polite. What am I supposed to do grovel to a ghost.

"Its Queen Vasilisa. My dear Rose and yes I do know where her beautiful daughter is being held. She is still alive but you will need to hurry. She is being held by humans at the moment, but the strigoi will be back by tomorrow night. You will need to rescue her tomorrow during the day light hours or you will be to late. They will turn her."

Queen? I will have to think about that later right now I was getting the info I needed about the kids.

"Wait you said turn her? Why on earth would they want to turn her?" I ask

"They are trying to send a msg to the queen for the new trail that has been ongoing for these past few years. They have seen that the trials have been sucessfull. They dont like that."

"What new trial?"I ask trying to keep my voice composed.

"Ask Vasilisa. Now do you know the old place Lissa was taken to by Victor all those years ago?" she asks me. I nod. Oh how I remember that place. I still had the occasional night mare about that well either I do or Lissa does, but still.

"They are being held there. Go and get them back we can not afford to loose anymore spirit users and at least four of those children are stong spirit users."

"How many are holding them?"

She smiles as she answers me "There are twelve men there. They are human but they have all trained in the fighting arts. I am glad you have kept up with your training Rosemarie Hathaway you will need it."

"Thany you" I say " I will be out to see you again soon. I have lots of questions."

"yes I am sure you do." She says dryly "Though you might want to put some of those questions to the living once you have the children safe. I will see you soon Rosemarie." With that she faded away. I turned and started walking towards the Gaurd house again. I glanced up and caught Dimitri's eye. He had questions written all over his face. "Not now" I say as I walk past him. I have to much going on in my head to worry about innane questions from him. I give Stan and the other Gaurdian a brief wave as I continue walking towards the school tugging on my bottom lip. I didnt hear Dimitri beside me until he grabbed my shoulder I jumped about two foot off the ground. "Geez Comrade give a person some warning" I snarled at him.

He frowns at me "Rose I was calling your name. You didnt even respond. Did you get the information we needed?"

"Yeah and some" I reply absently falling back to my thoughts.


	4. Questions

Thanks for the reviews. I am really enjoying writing this.

*I do not own VA or any of the characters but that which is mine I am more than happy to share freely.

Enjoy xx

He still had his hand on my shoulder. I looked pointedly at his hand then up to his face.

"What information did you get?" He asks. ignoring my look.

"Cant you just wait till I get to the Gaurdians building?" I growled at him.

"Did you just talk to our last Queen?" He wont let up. I sighed heavily.

"Yes" I shouted at him."Now be quiet I have to think." I slapped his hand off my shoulder and kept walking.

"But Rose." He just wouldnt shut up "Didnt you think to ask her who murdered her?" I spun and rolled my eyes at him.

"Now why the hell would I ask her something I already know?" I say exasperated.

"You know? Who was it?"

"Arrggghh" I yell. " I so do not need this right now I have more important things to worry about. Tatianna is dead these missing children they wont stay that way for much longer." I shake my head turn around and started running to get away from him. If he wouldnt be quiet then I was so not going to walk with him. I slowed when I got closer to the Gaurdian offices. My mind was still reeling I needed time to think before I told everyone what I knew. I went around the side of the building and sat against the wall. It had a thick hedge that shielded me from anyone walking past. I took some deep calming breaths and thought through what I had been told. Hearing that Lissa was the Queen was a shock, how had she managed to hide that from me. It was the fact that she managed to hide it from me that was the biggest shock, not that she was queen. Lissa was a strong, passionate person. She listened to everyone and was fair in everything she did or said, so it was a given that she would oneday be queen in my books. The main thing that I had no answer for was the trials that Tatianna had mentioned. Trials for what and how many knew about them? Obviosly Lissa knew about them, so why didnt she tell me? I felt Betrayed. I put my head in my hands man I was getting a headache. Okay I would deal with this one step at a time. I needed to talk to Lissa, well more like chew her out. But that could wait on the other hand the children wouldnt. I stood up and sighed time to get active. I stepped out of the hedge and walked around the side of the building and ran smack into Dimitri. He looked at me with so much relief I did a double take.

"Dimitri whats.." He cut me of pulling me into a tight hug.

"I was so worried that you had left me again." He whispered to me urgently.

"Geez Belikov get a grip." I growled "Put me down right now." I was getting angry. "Do not man handle me again or I will kick your ass. You got it?" I say stomping towards the door. As I reach for the door to open it, I see he has beaten me to it. "And dont try to act all slick and charming either it wont work." I mutter knowing full well that he can hear me. I glance up at him and he has a smirk on his face and one of his eyebrow raised. "Babboons butt." I say slightly louder so that I know a few more people can hear me. I heard muffled laughing as I entered the meeting room. I see Alberta sitting at the large table going through some papers. Looking up she see's me and smiles broadly. "Ahh Rose I had heard that you were back." She says as she gets up and comes over to hug me. "I hope it will be for good. We need more woman in this place and this job. Not to mention that your children show great potential. They are beautiful by the way." She says smiling.

I look at her baffled. "My children?" I ask once I have hugged her. "When did you meet my children they should be with Adrian and, well, not to be rude or anything but I dont see him making a social call here."

Alberta laughed a deep hearty sound that made me smile. "You know Ivashkov well. He didnt bring the children here. But he did take them to the Gym. Apparently your son wanted to see it. Actually your daughter also. Anyway most of the Gaurdians not on duty were there training. The kids asked if they could join in and once we were told that they were yours. Well, Lets just say that it was harder to drag the Gaurdians away from the kids, than the kids from the Gaurdians." I smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

" I am truly am blessed to have them. They are my everything." I say.

"As they are lucky to have you as thier mom." She says going back to her seat.

I sigh as I sit down.

"So are you going to stick around? You will be a great asset." Alberta asks me.

I shift uncomfortably "See how things go" I say evasivly. "Or till I murder someone." I add under my breath. Alberta let out a short abrk of laughter.

"Well Rose unless you have that temper of yours securely leashed I reckon you would be back on a plane by tomorrow afternoon."

I blushed at that, I felt like I was in high school where I was forever being told to control my temper and impulsive ways. "Its mostly under control, but I cant help it if people push my buttons." I say trying to defend myself.

"Hey I am not telling you of Rose. Just making a statement. Your temper can actually be an asset if used right."Alberta was looking at me earnestly.

"Yeah I know its. Well I just. Coming back here has stirred up so many memories. So much left undone. But I cant deal with it right now I have other more pressing matters on my mind. I need to focus." I looked down at my hands "And he needs to back the hell off" I growled in an undertone.

"It was such a shame." Alberta said to me softly.

I look up "Whats such a shame?" I ask. Though I think I know what she is talking about. Alberta always knew what was going on. She had many secretes that she wouldnt breath to a soul unless it would do a person harm to not speak. She looked at me with kindness. Her next words confirmed what I had known.

"Rose I always knew about you and Gaurdian Belikov. I watched but kept my distance. I knew why you had to go after him when he was turned. I watched you pull yourself together when you came back. I was so proud of you when you graduated with the best scores ever seen. Then when he came back I watched you struggle again. I watched you both struggle. I saw you leave that day and I hoped against hope that you would return soon. I knew you still saw Adrian. He talked to me about you. I knew you had the twins. Hell I could even tell you what you got installed in your personal gym. I mean who do you think Adrian asked for advise on what to buy for it. I am proud of you but, I am also sad for everything that you have had to go through. You are still so young. But you have matured. You have grown up Rose. Remember to think hard about any decisions you may have to make in the near future. Also remember that you can always come and talk to me." I smiled and sniffed I knew that Alberta knew more than anyone realised. She had been keeping an eye on me over these past years. "Now I need to see what can be done about these children that were taken." She said briskly.

I straightened in the chair "Well I can help you with that. I have um, Information from a reliable source." I said.

"Ahh is this the same source from which you found the caves over the back after the Strigoi attack on the school?" she asked me sharply.

"Yeah the same." I said. Not sure how I should feel.

"Ah. Excellent. Tell me what you know then we will must the troops."

I nodded and told her everything that I had been told. I didnt tell her the name of the ghost I had talked to and thankfully she didnt ask. Half an hour later I was sitting in the same room only this time it was packed full of the hard muscled bodies of Gaurdians. It was a girls dream come true. I looked around and saw my old class mate Eddie Castile. her grinned at me and walked over giving me a huge hug. "Hey stranger. Great to have you back. Missed you." was all he said to me but it was enough. I couldnt wipe the smile off my face. I did miss my friends. Eddie and I had become close after the Spokane attack. We looked out for each other before I left. I doubt that I would ever have that again though. As if he was reading my thoughts Eddie looked at me and smirked "I still got your back. Always." He said.

"Thanks" I said before I became a blubbering idiot. Eddie just nudged me with his shoulder. I heard someone clear thier throat and looke around the room. Straight into a pair of deep brown eyes. He had a smirk on his face and had one eyebrow cocked.

"Oh man." I groaned as I looked away. Eddie looked at me then over to where I had just been looking. When he looked back at me he had his easy smile plastered over his face. I could swear he was trying his hardest not to laugh at me. I glared up at him and he held his hands up in surrender.

"What?" his voice was strained with trying not to laugh.

"What the hell is so funny" I ask him in a hiss. Only Eddie didnt answer a female voice behind us did.

"Its because I think you have just inadvertantly given Eddie and the rest of us a possible reason to get you to stay with us." I spun around so I could see who it was that spoke to us. It was Celeste.

"Oh hell no" I told them both frowning "That reason is not good enough for me to stay. Hell its the reason I left in the first place. Um, Why on earth do you want me to stay.?" I asked a bit baffled as to why they would want me.

"Because." Answered Celeste "You were the dealiest Gaurdian around before you took off. I can tell just by looking at you that you havent let yourself slip into any sloppy ways, if anything I think you may be more lethal. And." she hesitated.

"And" I prompted.

"Well we need all the Gaurdians we can get and badass Gaurdians like yourself are not to easy to come by the Strigoi tend to hear who the badasses are and go out of thier way to get rid of them. Thats why the trial is so important."

I held my head up higher. I cant beleive they thought of me as a Badass Gaurdian. I frowned there it was again the trials. I had a feeling that I really needed to find out about it.


	5. Forward

**Hey Guys so sorry about the last chapter. I did edit and spell check but I am having some troubles with my computer and it didnt save. I was mortified when I reread it after I had posted it..Hope this is better. **

**Thanks heaps for the reviews. **

**Enjoy xx**

An earpiercing whistle echoed through the room. Everyone stood or sat up straighter and faced the front where Alberta stood. She had a blueprint of the cabin up on the board she was standing in front of and clutched a handfull of papers.

"Ok you lot listen up." Her voice rang clearly. "We have the information needed to rescue the children that were taken in the latest attack on the school. It seems that the Strigoi are working with humans again. We had hoped that we wouldnt see this again. But as you know we dont always get what we want."

The room laughed at that.

Someone on the otherside of the room yelled "Yeah but we got Hathaway back." He was answered by another voice not far from him.

"You only wanted her back because she is easy on the eyes. I reckon if you tried a move on her she would kick your ass to the moon."

The room laughed at this and I couldnt help myself I raised my voice to be heard.

" I know you all missed checking me out, but I am a mom now and a respectable one at that. You all best be keeping your hands to yourselves if you want to keep them." I said loudly. "I dont mind the checking me out though." I tacked on the end. The room roared with laughter.

"Same old Rose" A few hollered out. Eddie nudged me with his shoulder again.

"You havent changed that much." He said. I smiled up at him.

"Why should I change." I ask him "You either take me as I am or you can walk away." He smiled down at me and nodded his head, approval in his eyes.

It took me a long long time to work that out but now that I had, well my life was easier and I didnt worry about others so much, well maybe with the exception of one. I looked up and around the room that was full of my peers. As my eyes wandered they locked with a pair of deep brown ones. He had his jaw clenched and his hands were balled into fists. Ok so I guess he didnt like the banter at my expense. Well he can just get over it. I straightened my shoulders. I am not his. Not anymore. He didnt want me. He noticed my gaze, blushed and tried to smile at me.

Alberta called the room to order and started going over what I had told her. I let my mind wander for that part. I had it committed to heart. I was thinking about the times I had been in this very room. For my molnija ceramony. For the time I screwed up on my trials because I had seen Masons ghost and for the time a rescue mission was being organised after the Strigoi attack on the school. He had been by my side for those times. Helping me, directing me, talking to me. I think of the other two times I was in this room one was after he had been turned and I had recieved my mark after the Strigoi attack. I still couldnt remember what it was called but it meant that I had killed to many to accurately record. The last and final time I was in this room was when I had recieved my promise mark. Making me a fully fledged Gaurdian. I looked down at the floor and quickly wiped a stray tear running down my cheek. If only I knew how my life would have turned out. I felt a strong arm around my shoulders hugging my and looked up at Eddie. He smiled at me as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"You ok?" He whispered to me.

"Yeah just remembering is all." I say in a shaky voice.

"Hey it wasnt all bad times here. We did have some great times as well." He says while tightening his arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah we did at that." I smile. Eddie has always known what to say to make me feel better. I looked up to Alberta she was talking about the rescue and how we would approach the building. She split everyone into groups and told us to meet in an hour at the vehicles. She advised everyone to eat and get into some comfortable fighting clothes. Not Gaurdian uniforms. I stayed where I was while everyone in the room shuffled towards the door. Eddie stayed with me and called out to another Gaurdian. I looked up when I felt his presence. I recognised him vaguelly from before Lissa and myself bolted from the school. I think he was maybe two years older than me. He was still just as good looking now as he was them. He had sandy blonde hair and bright blue eyes. A kind smile lit up his face. I just couldnt remember his name.

"So you have come back to us, huh Rose?" As soon as he spoke I remembered his name. Sam Roberts. That was it.

I smiled back at him "Yeah I figuered you lot have muddled along enough without me." I say giving him my man eater smile. He blushed and came to stand beside me.

"Are you going to get something to eat before we go?" Sam asks me. Eddie snorted on the other side of me and I elbow him in the ribs. Sam looks at the both of us. "Did I miss something?" He asks.

"Did you ever. This is Rose we are talking about. Her appitite has a rep all of its own." Eddie says through the laughter bubbling out of his mouth. I slap him upside of his head.

"You are so not funny" I tell him. I then turn to Sam "I have to go check on the kids and give Lissa a run down, not to mention get changed and then find some food."

"You want some company?" He asks me with a bright smile on his lips. " I would love to meet your kids. I was on duty earlier, but I have heard everyone talking about them."

I smile at him and nodd my head "Yeah that would be cool." I say. He smiles and we make our way to the door. There are only a couple of people left in the room and no huge line waiting to leave. As I am about to go through the door I hear my name called I turn around and Dimitri is standing there watching me.

"Can I talk to for a quick minute please?" Dimitri asks in his quiet voice. I nod my head.

Turning back to Eddie and Sam I ask. "Catch you up in a minute?"

They both smile and walk towards the door. Eddie hesitates before I smile at him and shoo him away.

"Sorry to interupt. But I was wondering if you are going to see the kids before we have to leave." He asks whilst still keeping his distance for which I am thankfull.

"Yeah I was. I have to check in with Lissa and let her know what is happening. Not to mention get changed and eat. Man I am starving." I answer him.

He laughs and I get shiveres over my body. I have always loved the sound of his laugh. It was so rare to hear it. I look up at him waiting for him to let me know whats so funny. He looks down at me with a twinkle in his eye.

"Whats so funny?" I ask him finally out of patience. Not like I have ever had much to start with. He looks down at me knowingly and smiles.

"Ah Rose never mind." He says.

"Hell no. Not never mind. You were laughing at me, not with me, but at me. What was so damn funny Comrade?" I was growling now. I hated to be laughed at unless I was aware of the joke.

"Just that your appetite doesnt seemed to have changed. When did you last eat?" he asks me.

"Before we got on the plane." I answer. "Well hell. No wonder I am so hungry and why does everyone think my appetite is so amusing?"

"Rose you eat more than anyone I know and I know many people. The worse the food is for you the more of it you eat. Yet you burn it up so fast that it never affects your figure or your training. Most Dhampirs have to be at least a bit wary of what they eat but not you. You are unusual in that way so naturally everyone knows about it and talks about it." He smiles fondly at me and I take a step back which notices.

"Humph." Is all I say to his little life lesson. Or maybe I should say Zen lesson.

"I spoke to my mother about a month after you left and she said that your appetite was more than mine had ever been whilst I was a growing adolescent." He chuckles. "She also told me that you have a love for her wonderful black bread."

My mouth started watering just thinking about Olena's blackbread. Dimitri was looking at me intently.

"If you would like I can make some for you. My mother taught me how because I ate so much of it."

"Yeah I remember her telling me that." I say distracted by the thought of tasting black bread again.

"I could teach you and the children how to make it." He says "If you would like that is." He adds hesitently. I smile up at him.

"Actually that would be great. I can tell the kids that you are thier father. I have been dying to know how to make that stuff since I came back from Russia." I say

He smiles at me and seems relieved.

"I gotta go now. I have heaps to do and only an hour in which to do it. We will sort out when and where after we get the kids back. Okay?" I ask heading towards the door. He just smiles and nods. Once I get outside I run towards Lissa and Christians appartment building. I get inside just as Sam and Eddie are entering the elevator. They smile and wait for me. We ride up to the fourth floor in a comfortable silence.

"So" says Eddie when we step out of the elevator "What did Belikov want?" He sounds a curious and pissed at the same time. I stop and study his face.

"Oh. He just wanted to plan a catch up. We have a bit to talk about." I answer him truthfully.

"Mmm-Hmm." He says raising one eyebrow. Why the hell cant I do that. It pisses me off to no end that everyone can cock thier eyebrow, everyone except me. I glare at Eddie, open the door and stomp into Lissa's apartment.

"Momma, Momma" My beautiful children yell before launching themselves at me. I kneel down and cuddle them at the same time kissing thier cheeks.

"I hope you have been well behaved?" I say to them with mock sterness.

"We have momma. We got to train with the Gaurdians. In your old Gym." Mason yelled in excitement. I smile indulgently at my son.

"And we saw your old room mom." Cally gushes at me. She looked over my shoulder and a huge grin lights her beautiful face. "Gaurdian Eddie." She screams and launches herself at him. Eddie chuckles and lowers himself to one knee to hug my exuberant daughter.

"Be back in one tick." I tell them as I walk of to find Lissa.

I find her in the kitchen cooking. "Hey Liss." I say as I hug her.

"Please tell me you have good news" she says in a hushed voice.

I smile at her "Yeah we do, my sources told me what we needed to know. Alberta has organised a rescue mission to leave in an hour. Are you ok to watch the kids please?" I ask her. She smiles at me with tear bright eyes.

"Of course I will look after the kids." she says feircly. "You be safe and bring those children home. Shouldnt be too hard with your badass skills."

I laugh at her and head out towards the room that had my bags in it. I turn around just before going through the door. "Oh and Liss." I say. she turns around to look at me and I see tears streaming down her face. "We have alot to talk about when I get back."

"I know. I havent been able to think about much else other than Andrea lately but we will talk Rose. I promise." She reaches over and grabs a tissue wiping her eyes. I check the bond and feel nothing except intense relief. I smile, blow her a kiss and walk out.

In the room I haul my suitcase onto the bed and unzip it. I rumage through the clothes cursing softly. I am sure I put my comfy work out clothes in the bag. Ahh there they are. I strip off and pull on my old stretch black jeans that hugged my body as well as a soft cotton halter neck that sat just above my jeans. I pulled on my thigh high boots that had been a graduation gift from Adrian. They had special pockets for stakes, knives and spare bullets. The ideal gift for the ideal fighting girl, the card that came with them read. How true it was. I chuckled to my self grabbed my jacket and bag and walked out to the lounge room tying my hair up high. Everyone turned to stare at me. I smiled my man eating smile and did a little spin, I knew I looked good. Hell I felt good.

"You going to work Momma?" Cally asked.

"Yeah baby I am. Gotta go and get your cousin Andrea back." I tell her.

"Stay safe Momma." Mason says. It was our little ritual parting for everytime I went to work. I smile at my kids.

"You be safe and be good for your Aunt Lissa and Uncle Christian."

"Um actually Rose, I just recieved a message from Alberta. It seems that they want a few fire users just in case." Christian says coming out of his and Lissa's room with a bag and jacket also.

"Smart thinking." I smile. "Okay lets get going." I start to walk towards the door and look over at Eddie and Sam.

"Are you too coming or are you going to stand there and drool all night." I ask smirking. They pick up thier jaws and follow me out the door.

"Damn girl." Sam says as we wait for the elevator.

"You sure havent lost it Rose." Eddie mumbles.

"Now what is it I am supposed to have lost?" I ask Eddie looking him in the eye.

"Huh? Oh nothing. Just talking to myself." He says quickly.

I smile and turn back to the elevator just as the doors open. I step inside and turn around to see Christian walk in trying his hardest to keep a straight face.

I glare at him. "Whats you problem sparky?" I ask dryly. This somehow causes him to bust out laughing.

"Oh Rose." He says between breaths." I have missed you so much. I always have ammunition when I am around you." I continue to glare which makes him laugh harder.

"I am so going to break your nose if you dont shut up." I growl.

At this he seems to pull himself together.

"Sorry. Oh, hey nice tatt. When did you get that done?" He sounds normal again.

"Hmm" I say confused. He knows full well where I got my tatts from. After all every Gaurdian gets at least one of them.

"Ah. The dragon, Rose." He says looking at me like I've lost my mind.

"Oh" I blush. "About 3 years ago." The tattoo he was talking about was a blue baby dragon over my left shoulder blade. It had its wings outstreatched and was holding an open scroll in its paws. Written on the scroll were my kids names and date of birth. On the wings were the symbols for Earth, Air. Fire and Water. Over the top of the Dragons head was the ancient symbol I had found for Spirit. Around the bottom of the dragon were the words "Lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil." I had drawn and designed it my self. It was about fifteen inches long from wing tip to wing tip and ten inches high.

Being as I had my hair tied up so that it wouldnt get in the way whist I was fighting, you could see the whole thing clearly.

"Thats pretty cool."Christian said again while moving closer to get a better look.

"Yeah I like it." I say back to him.

The elevator stops and and we walk out.

"So where to now?" asks Christian.

"To get something to eat." I reply.

"Where else?" Asks Eddie with a laugh. I spin on my heel and punch him in the gut.

"Your lucky I like you Eddie Castile" I growl before stalking of.


	6. Fitting in

**Please keep reading and reviewing. I love reading your reviews. **

**Enjoy xx.**

**I do not own VA or any of its Original Characters.**

I had only gone a few meters when something occured to me. I slammed on the brakes and spun around.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed "Sam I forgot to introduce you to the kids."

"Hey its all good Adrian and Eddie did. They sure are cute and very smart, but, well, whats all the talk about the colours that they come up with?"

I shrugged. How was I to answer this question when I didnt fully understand myself. I mean shit, they had only just started to talk about seeing colours. Sure I had an idea but it wasnt a dead set right answer. Thankfully Eddie came to my rescue.

"Hey man you know how kids are they have full on imaginations. Plus I read that twins have this wierd connection. Its like no other, so I hear. Well except maybe for Rose's and Lissa's, but thats different." Eddie said like there was nothing unusual to what the twins did and said.

I smiled at Eddie and went to walk beside him. He put his arm around me and gave me a hug. What was I going to do about the twins. I knew that they were special. I wonder if Adrian had any thoughts about it yet. We kept walking whilst I was thinking.

"Hey you okay?" I heard someone ask me. I looked up to see Sam looking at me with worry.

"Yeah yeah. Just thinking. You know how it is just making a list and checking it twice." I said with a smile.

He laughed "Yeah I hate it when you get that feeling that you have forgotten something, but cant for the life of you remember what it is."

"Yeah well try it when you have three people to think about. Not easy at all." I say back happily enjoying the casual topic. I walked through the doors to the cafeteria and dumped my bag and jacket with the pile of others that were just inside. I looked around the room and made eye contact with the food. As I stalked towards the food I was followed by wolf whistles and cat calls.

"Not now." I called back "There is a plate of food over there with my name all over it. Anyone who values thier life will not get in the way." A few people who knew me chuckled and shook thier heads. I grabbed a plate and looked through the food that was in the warmer. I settled for the pasta carbonarra and piled my plate full. Christian was behind me getting a plate of food. I turned around and his eyes went large as he looked at my plate.

"Geez Rose. You sure youre going to eat all that." He says quietly.

"Yes Pyro. I will eat all of my din din." I say to him icely.

"I didnt mean..Oh never mind." He says rolling his eyes. We sit at an empty table and I make short work of my food. Man I was so damn hungry. I sit back and sigh contentedly as soon as I do the conversation around me picks up a whole lot more. I narrow my eyes and glance at the people sitting at my table. While I was eating Dimitri, Celest and Alberta had joined us. Huh I never noticed. No one meets my gaze until I growl under my breath. They all look at me at once.

"Why the hell isnt anyone talking?" I question them all in a quite growl.

"Well.."

"You.."

"Didnt.."

" Seemed.."

Every one tried talking at once but fell quiet. I sighed. I think I know what this is about.

"I am not that bad that you cant talk around me while I am eating. As long as I have food and am allowed to eat it I dont give a rats ass if you talk or not. Hell you could act like a bunch of animals and I wouldnt care." I say to them while meeting everyones eyes.

"I tried to tell the but they kept shh-ing me. Which by the way is very annoying." Dimitri says quietly from the end where he is sitting. I catch his eye and smile.

"Well we didnt want to have our heads knocked together if you were wrong. She could have changed. I mean she has been away for a while and people do change." Celeste said. She was sitting across from Dimitri.

There was laughter at this around the table. When Eddie piped up.

"Actually we dont talk to Rose while she is eating simply because she wouldnt hear you. It gets rather tiresome to repeat yourself just to realise that all that repeating you did at dinner, wasnt worth a spit." He said this in his usual happy manner.

"Not to mention you cant hear a thing anyone else says while she is eating. What with all the slurping and such." Christian added in his dryest tone. I elbowed Eddie hard and slapped Christian upside the head. making both of them jump.

"Just because you are married to my best friend Christian Ozera, does not mean I cant still give you a back eye or bloody nose. As for you Eddie you are sitting way to close to be saying that shit to me. A smart person would make sure that they were further away. Especially since you have known me for a long, long time." I say whilst smiling. Everyone laughed and relaxed. The conversation returned to easier topics. Such as the novices, who would be top of the class and who everyone was betting on. I was a little shocked at the latter.

"Betting." I exclaimed "You bet on the novices and who will have the best score?" Surely I had heard wrong.

"Relax." Alberta said looking directly at me. "Betting on the novices has been happening for many many years, centuries even. We dont bet on anything other than the best score of the year and which novice will get it. All bets are placed the night before the final trial."

This made me feel better. I smiled at Alberta and nodded my head in a thankyou, she nodded hers in return. Wonder who bet on me and how much or what they won. As if reading my mind Alberta smiled and said

"I bet on you rose. The way it works is first in best dressed. I put my money on you as soon as you and the princess were bought back to the school. Its winner takes all, but the winner also has to use some of the winnings to buy thier bet a graduation present."

Oh so thats why she bought me a graduation present. I felt a little sad at the fact that the only reason she had bought me one was because she had won a bet. I looked down at my hands.

"Rose. I bought your graduation present the day you came back to the school and I re-enrolled you."

I looked back up at Alberta and smiled. My smile full of warmth. Her smile in return was just as warm and proud.

"So when are you going to get your marks done." Christian asked me rather loudly.

I whipped my head around and stared at him with total and complete shock. Surely Adrian didnt tell him. It was the one thing I hadnt told anyone on purpose. Adrian had promised never to tell anyone. Perhaps he thought that now I was back I wouldnt want this kept a secrete anymore. No he would have spoken to me before saying anything at all. I know Adrian, at least I thought I did.

"Wh-what are you t-talking about?" I stammer. Everyone around the table went quiet, as well as the few tables around us.

"Since you came back I have done some research. Then I confronted Adrian with my findings. He confirmed what I had but said I didnt have the whole story. He also said that if I wanted the whole story I would have to ask you."

It felt like all the air in the room had gone. I started gasping. What did he know and how the hell had he found out about it? The room started spinning. I heard someone calling my name but it was so far away. I couldnt get my throat to answer. I felt the air around me move and strong arms clutched me tight. Next thing I know I am outside laying on the grass in the crisp air. I open my eyes and look into deep brown ones full of concern. I can hear heated talking but cant make out the sounds. I try to sit up but Dimitri shakes his head at me.

"Just stay laying down Roza. What was it that shocked you so bad?" he asks me. I look away at the clouds skimming across the sky. I cant tell them yet. I am not ready to not all of it.

"Pyro somehow found out about my hunting strigoi." I say in a hushed voice.

"When were you hunting?" He asked me in a strangled voice.

" At night. I always used to go when Adrian came to visit. I rang the alchemists when I could."

I finally looked at him. I was waiting for him to blow his stack. I noticed that Alberta and the rest of them had come to stand beside Dimitri.

"Rose How many Strigoi have you killled?" Alberta asked looking at me with a slight frown. It looked like she was trying to figure something out.

"I, um, well 187." I answered quietly.

Alberta drew in a sharp breath "It was you." she said to me smiling. "I knew it was you. When all those reports kept coming in I knew."

"Really that was you?" Asked Sam with what looked like wonder in his eyes.

I looked around at all the faces surrounding me. Some had a look of awe, others had shock and one held anger.

"I had to. I had no choice I had to do it." I say trying to defend my actions.

"Well, we will have to organize a ceremony and get you your marks." Alberta said in her business tone she had used so often on me when I was at school.

"Do we have to?" I asked in a small voice "Cant we just, well, leave it?"

"No we cant just leave it. You leaving was a big controversy, you coming back is almost as big. This will prove that you werent sitting around doing nothing."

"But I wasnt doing nothing. I had two children to look after. I didnt do it for the glory." I tried to explain myself. I sat up. Seeing that I was planning to stand Eddie and Sam held out thier hands to help me. I gripped them and they hauled me to my feet.

"Sorry to break up the party but we better get our stuff and get moving." Christian remarked. I smiled at him gratefully. He always knew when I needed help. Christian smiled back at me and shrugged his shoulders.

"Here." Celeste said handing me my bag and jacket. "I grabbed them when you were carted out here. Figured it would be a smart move."

"Yeah thanks." I said taking my bag and jacket from her.

"No problems." She walked of to join the others leaving me with Dimitri. He still looked mighty pissed. I Glared at him.

"Whats your problem now." I put as much venom in my voice as I could.

He just glared right back at me. "How could you do that? You have two young children who depend on you. Did you not think that had anything happened to you they would have been alone. Where would they have gone. What would have happened to them." He was yelling now. I was getting rather angry myself.

"How DARE you." I screamed at him."You dont know the half of it. I only ever went hunting when Adrian came to visit me. He knew what to do with the children had anything happened to me. They wouldnt have been alone. If anything happened to me Adrian was to bring them here to thier family. You dont have any right to judge me Dimitri Belikov. I had to do it. I needed to do it. I am better than I have ever been and we both know how good I was before I left. I have better stamina. I am faster and I have learnt a whole pile of things that have not been taught, used or even thought about by gaurdians for many many years. Not to mention I have learned almost as much as I can about being shadow kissed. All that came at a price. I paid that price willingly and I would do so again. So back the fuck off." I was panting by the time I finished yelling at him. In a quieter voice I said. "I told you. You dont get to judge me. You. Dont. Know. Anything." I felt tears prickling in my eyes. I blinked my eyes furiously to stop them from spilling out.

Dimitri studied me for a moment before he asked "Cant you tell me. I want to know. I want to understand."

I shook my head. "No. Its not time yet for that story to be told." I looked around and noticed that we were alone "We have to get going the others are going to be waiting." He nodded and we started walking towards the cars. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.

**Liss, tell the kids I love them and always will. If I dont come back Adrian knows what to do. Give them a big hug and kiss for me. Tell them that they are my life and that they are my angels because they saved me from myself. **

**Love you all.**

**xx**

I pressed send. As we reached the cars I heard Lissa in my head.

_Nothing is going to happen to you Rose. If I have to bring you back to life again then I will. We only just got you back you are not leaving us again. Do you hear me. I will give them a kiss and cuddle and tell them that you love them but thats all. You will be with us for a whole lot longer yet._

I sighed. Damn that girl could be stubborn, almost as stubborn as me.

All the conversation came to a halt as we got to the cars. I sighed and glared at Eddie. He blushed and looked at the ground.

"Sorry" he mumbled.

"Humph" was all I said in return. Cant say that I was surprised that everyone now knew what I had just told Alberta and the rest of them. Our world was a major gossip mill. I remember as a teenager that the gossip used to travel and twist in spectacular fashion. But it wasnt just gossip to gaurdians, it was hope, it was a win against all the odds that faced us.

"Okay everyone. You have all your assigned teams. We are taking one car per team. Remember that we will be stoping for a recap on the side of the highway, before the turn of to the cabin. I want everyone to follow thier orders, check each others gear before we leave. Make sure you have everything." Alberta looked us all over when she had finished talking. She nodded once and walked over to the first car. She would be leading one of the assult teams, I was leading an extraction team. All up there were seven teams of four going. Two perimeter teams to secure the place, three assault teams and two extraction teams. Our job was to get in and get the kids out unharmed.

A gaurdian I didnt know walked up to me and handed me an earpeice, hand gun and extra clips. I was bending over checking all the pockets in my boots when I felt someone behind me. I didnt even look up from what I was doing.

"See something you like?" I asked. I heard a chuckle I knew well from behind me.

"Hathaway I always like what I see when I am looking at you."

I laughed and straightened up, spinning around I threw myself at the man standing there. Hans grabbed me in a bone wrenching hug.

"Your to old to be looking." I said with a huge smile. I loved teasing him about his age.

"Never to old to look Rose you know that. You always have." he laughed putting me down.

"You coming with us?" I asked him. Surely he would be close to his sixties bye now. He still looked as fit and lethal as ever though.

He chuckled evilly but answered me. "Nah. I am doing home base comms. Getting a bit slow for the field. Reckon I could take on a few lousy humans though." He smirked whilst flexing his arms to make his muscles bulge.

"Yeah yeah. You just wish you could come so you could check me out, while I am in action." I answer him tartly.

"I wont deny it Rose. You are looking better than you did, the last time I saw you." I blushed at the compliment. Hans had never been free with compliments. "Just came over to let you know your team name is extract one."

"Ok I got it. But you have to admit it. Thats not the only reason you came over." I stepped back and gave his chest a shove. He laughed at me and swatted my hand away.

I watched him walk over to the other teams and give them thier call signs.

I really missed being with my own kind. People who I understood. People who understood me in return. I finished checking everything and stood leaning on one of the cars. Looking around the room I watched Eddie and Sam bantering with a couple of other Dhampirs. Christian was with a group of moroi, obviously they were the fire users we would be taking as a just in case.

I could see Celeste with a couple of other female dhampirs talking and laughing. As I looked around some more. I caught Dimitris eye. He had a small smile playing at his mouth. He walked over to me and leant on the car beside me. We said nothing for a while just watched what was going on around us. Finally Dimitri decided to break the silence.

"Its good to see that you have fit right back in so easily."

I laughed "Not so easily comrade this is just the begining." I told him.

"Begining of what?" he asks me

"I told you its not time to tell you that story. But when it comes out it is going to shake up a whole lot of people, not to mention beleifs and the way things are and always have been done."

He laughed quietly "When dont you shake things up Rose?"

"True." I laugh "But this shit will blow your mind. It certainly shocked the shit outta me." I pushed myself off the car "I gotta go see Alberta. Need to clarify a couple of things." I smiled and walked of leaving him shaking his head.

Alberta saw me coming. When I got to her side she was smiling.

"Rose you always were the centre of attention. Do you know how many woman would kill for a body like yours especially after giving birth to twins?"

I shrug my shoulders "I put alot of work into this body. Course I am going to show it of. Which car is mine?" I ask.

"SUV six. Dont break it." She said looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah yeah. Sure sure." I say as I walk over to my assigned car. When I get to the car I lean through the window and pop the boot. I get a few more wolf whistles when I lean through the window, I cant help it so I wiggle my ass at them. I straighten up and walk over to where my bag and jacket are. I shrugg into my jacket. Grabb my bag and go chuck it into the car. I glance around and figure I may as well walk to the front of the car where there is a bit of space, so I can stretch and warm up before we go. I go through all of my stand up stretches and sit down to do my next lot. I spread my legs wide in front of me and start to lean forward to rest my head on the ground. This one always worked better with another person to help but you didnt need it. Just as I got my forehead to the ground I felt the presence of someone sitting across from me.

"Here Roza, let me help."

I looked up and smiled "Sure Comrade."

I saw his lips twitch in a smile. I straightened up and he scooted closer. I felt the pressure on the inside of my ankles where he placed his feet. He reached out and took my hands, a shock passed between us like it always used to. I smiled at the memory. He pulled on my arms and I felt the deep pressure of a good stretch. He relaxed the pressure, then repeated the stretch. After five reps we swapped places. Only I had to place my feet inside his knees, he was to tall for me to place my feet at his ankles. I gripped his hands and pulled firmly back.

"You know Roza I am leading the other extraction team."

"Yeah I know. It may not have looked like it but I was listening to the briefing you know."

He chuckled "You havent changed that much Roza. Bye the way you are the over all extraction leader."

"But why?" I was stunned. I knew he was leading the other team and I just figured that he, being more experienced, would be the extraction leader.

" You have always been great Roza. Its time you stepped up to the line and started accepting the leadership rolls."

"Ah Comrade you sound like someone else Ive been speaking to." It shocked me how much the two had sounded alike.

I finished my stretches and stood up. I offered Dimitri a hand and pulled him up.

"Thanks for the help with my stretches."

"Always a pleasure Roza. Always." He replied. He then made his way over to his own car.

"Right you lot time to MOVE OUT." Alberta yelled the last bit in a voice that would make a drill sargant envious.

We all piled into the cars and made our way out to rescue the kids.


	7. Rescue

**Okay guys I have found writting this chapter rather difficult. Mostly its the fight scenes giving me grief. So I am really sorry about taking a while to post this chapter. **

**Hope its okay.**

**Enjoy xx**

In the car with me were Gaurdian Travis Harrison, Gaurdian Esther Cartwell, Gaurdian David Johnson and Gaurdian Amy Charles. Travis is driving, I am in the front passenger seat. I sat quietly staring out the window remembering the last time I was on my way to this cabin. I had been so scared for Lissa. I felt her torture at the hands of Victor Dashkovs minions. Dimitri had been scared for me and Lissa. The ride seemed to take for ever back then. But it only felt like only a matter of minutes today, before I realised we were pulling of onto the side of the road. Once the car stoppped we all climbed out and waited with the rest of the Gaurdians for Alberta to speak. As she walked towards the the group of Gaurdians she caught my eye and gestured to me to join her. I wonder what she is up to. I walk over at a comfortable pace, when I reach her she pulls me to the side out of anyones hearing.

"I need you to check with your sources. Make sure that nothing has changed." She tells me quickly.

"Um. Alberta. I would rather not do that infront of people."

"Oh, Yeah sure. Just go over there, but not to far. Please make it quick."

I couldnt help it I rolled my eyes at her. I walked in the direction that she had indicated. I went around to the other side of the cars and squatted down. Slowly I let my barriers down and waited. It only took a few minutes until Tatianna showed herself.

"Rosemarie why are you wasting time and daylight?" She asked me straight away. I sighed to myself.

"I just need to double check that nothing has changed." I tell her calmly.

"No nothing has changed. But if I were you I would bet these people to hurry up."She raised her voice at the last part, like the Gaurdians would hear her. "Hurry Rosemarie, You wont have much time. this is cutting it too finely for my liking. Go now." With that she was gone. I put my barriers up and breathed deep for a couple of minutes. When I had composed myself I walked over to Alberta.

"Nothing has changed." I whisper to her. "But we need to hurry. My source says we are running out of daylight, and we all know what that generally means."

"Oh shit." I laugh, its not often that Alberta curses but when she does, well. Its almost amusing, depending on the situation of course.

I head back over to my team. They nod thier heads or call a quiet greeting when I get there.

"Okay. Listen up. We wont have much daylight left to us if we keep stuffing around, and we all know what that means. Now we need this to be quick and efficient. No mistakes and no bravados. Each team knows what its doing. We wait till the perimeter teams are in position. They will signal the assault teams. The assault teams will enter the building followed by the extraction teams. The most important thing is to get those kids out, so extraction teams once you have all the chlildren get out. Dont stop and dont look back. As soon as the extraction teams are gone the rest of us will fall back and follow. Good luck to all and may we succeed." Alberta looks around at everyone.

Some people muttered amen to this, others nodded thier heads in agreement and others still piped up with yes's and hell yeah's. I headed to the car and waited until Dimitri's group join mine.

"Okay so there are eight kids in there. We are going to park the cars as close as possible. If you know any one of the kids in there, grab that child. It will help with the shock and hopefully make it easier to deal with them. You know, a familiar face and all that. If possible I want it to be four kids per team, but if there is a delay or a member is otherwise occupied, grab and go. Once we have all the kids and are on the move I will let the other teams know that we are clear. If something happens to me look to Gaurdian Belikov, he will take my place as team leader." I look around at all the eight faces of the Gaurdians and the one Moroi face. "Okay people lets get this done." I say as I turn around.

Walking back towards the car I feel a hand on my shoulder sending and electric shock through my arm. I inhale deeply and know who it is, he hasnt changed his aftershave, after all these years. I close my eyes trying to get my heart to stop its irratic beating. I can remember the night we were together with such clarity, I could be there right now. I turn around slowly and look up into his warm deep brown eyes.

"Did you want something?" I ask politely. He looks shocked that I have spoken to him decently.

"Rose, I ah. Well." He stutters. I look at him expectantly, he takes a deep breath and continues in an even tone. "Your doing well. Its like you've never been away."

I smile a small smile at the compliment. I know its not what he wanted to say, but I have a rather strong feeling that if he had said what he wanted to. Well it would have more than likely resulted in an argument.

"Thanks Comrade" I say over my shoulder as I walk away.

I climb into the car. We are on the road again in next to no time. We turn of and head along dirt roads. I know we are getting closer. It has been over six years since I was here last, but I swear this place is etched in my memory. I could identify every stone, twig, leaf and even, possibly the markings on the trees themselves. I tell Travis that we arent far now, he nodds in acknowledgment. I hear the crackle over the radio.

"Perimeter team one secure"

"Perimeter team two secure"

I take a deep breath its time for us to move.

"Everyone ready?" I ask. I hear a murmered yes.

"Dont forget what I told you. Grab and run."

I look up at the sky. The sun is getting lower by the minute.

"Assault and extraction teams. MOVE MOVE MOVE." Thats Alberta. I tell you she really could make a drill sargent wet themselves when she gets going. Thank god she has toned it down. I dont think anyone would be able to function if she used her whole voice over the radios, considering the receivers are ear peices. I leap out of the car followed by my team. I can see Eddie and Sam in the assault teams. They have that battle hunger in thier eyes. I feel a little twinge of jealousy, but squish it down. I have my own job to do. I watch as one Gaurdian smashes the door down two huge burly guys lunge out the door. They are engaged in a fight straight away. They are good but not as quick as Dhampirs. The assault team has moved forward. I get to the front door and steal myself to walk into this nightmare place. As I walk in I see the children sitting huddled in a group by the far wall. I do a double take it looks like there are more than the eight missing from the academy. I do a quick count and there are at least sixteen children sitting there. The eldest one is about six and the youngest would be two.

"Hathaway there are more than we expected."

"Yeah I saw. Take them all. Grab and Run." I reply.

I walk over and see Andrea straight away. I walk up to her and she looks at me with wide eyes.

"Hey sweety I am a friend of your mommies. Come with me we are going to take you back home." She smiles at me and launches herself into my arms. I smile and head to the door. On my way there one of the humans swings out at me. I see his fist coming at me and it is almost like its in slow motion. I duck, turning so that I am inbetween Andrea and this fool. He has stubble growing on his chin and his hair is a dirty blond. I smile at him as he steps closer. He takes two steps closer and I lift my leg and snap it out hitting him square in the chest. He flys back taking two other guys with him. I dont waste anymore time looking at him. I run out the door and put Andrea in the car. I do a quick count, six in my teams car. I run to the other car, five in there. That means eleven kids out. I fly back into the house, as I go in five more Gaurdians pass with a kid each. One of the Gaurdians has two, one under each arm. I look around as I enter the cabin. The humans have all been restrained, a couple are unconsious. I feel no pity for them. Dimitri comes towards me carrying a small boy with black hair he looks about four.

"Anymore?" I ask him.

"They are checking the rest of the cabin. We have to get out of here it will be full dark soon." He answers me a bit breathless. I nod and make my way over to Alberta. She sees me coming and her eyebrows snap together.

"You should be on your way back to the Academy." She says abruptly.

"Heading out now. Just wanted to ask you. Can we turf the humans outside and set fire to this place. It seems to constantly come back to bite us in the ass."

Alberta looks around and frowns. "your right. It does seem to keep coming back. Okay we will torch it. Probably draw alot of attention though if the blaze is seen."

I shrug my shoulders then turn and run out the door. Time to get these kids safely behind the wards. My team are all in the car and its running ready to go. I climb into the front passenger seat. I look behind us as we turn the corner and see that the cabin is burning rather well. I suppose that fire users do come in handy. I smile a small smile to myself and relax back into my seat. I know that the others will be behind us within minutes. We get about half way up the gravel road when my stomach plummets and I get that horrible naseaus feeling. I look quickly up at the sky and notice that the sun is gone.

"Oh shit, This cant be happening." I say.

Travis looks at me with a question in his eyes.

I press the transmitter to the radios and yell to my team and everyone else who can hear me.

"Move. Strigoi are here and lots of them. I dont think they are going to be happy. For the love of god move your asses."

Travis takes his foot off the accelerator and I feel the car slow.

"Didnt you hear me?" I scream, damn I feel sick now. "Dont stop, dont slow down. We have to get the kids to safety."

He straightens and slams his foot down on the gas.

"Oh god. I am going to be sick." I havent felt this amount of strigoi for a long time.

"Gaurdian Hathaway are you alright?" asks Amy from the back seat.

"Its the nausea isnt it?" Asks a familiar voice. I look over the back and see Christian sitting with his arm wrapped around Andrea. I didnt notice him before.

"Hey Pyro. Yeah its that horrid gut feeling I get when the undead are around." I try to joke. He smiles weakly at me.

All of a sudden I feel the car slam to a halt. I look over at Travis, he is staring straight ahead and is going paler by the second. I look up and swallow the lump of fear in my throat. Standing about a two hundred meters infront of us, blocking the road is at least thirty strigoi.

"Ah shit, God damned fucking peices of undead shit." I start swearing while my mind is running at a hundred miles and hour. I know this isnt all of the strigoi I can feel. I estimate there to be around fifty so where have the rest gone. I press the transmitter.

"Dimitri, the road is blocked. There are at least thirty on the road, and there is a distinct possibility that there are more in the surrounding area. From the feel of things. If you get my drift."

"I understand what your saying Rose. How many fire users have you got with you?"

I look back quickly. "Three. How many are with you?"

"We have two with us and there are another four with the others."

I sigh and realise we have no choice.

"We are going to have to fight. We can leave the moroi and the kids in the cars." I say through the radio.

"I agree. They can use thier fire through a slightly cracked window. We dont leave the cars unprotected though." I hear the screech of brakes as Dimitri's car joins ours they dont stop behind us but pull up mere inches besides ours.

I look over and nod my head. We open our doors and climb out.

There are eight Gaurdians, five fire using moroi, about eighteen kids and at the very least thirty strigoi. Some of us wouldnt make it out alive if any at all.

This is where all that extra training I have been having comes into play. I hope I make her proud. We flank the cars. I am at the front with Dimitri beside me.

I crouch down into a fighting stance, Dimitri mirrors my movement.

A high cold cackle fills the silence that has decended. My skin raises in goosebumps at the sound.

"Ah, so we finally get to meet Gaurdian Rosemarie Hathaway."

I dont say anything as my eyes scan for the speaker. She steps forward. I look at her she is beautiful in a creepy, scarey kind of way. Imagine what she would have been like in life I think to myself.

She looks at me then over to Dimitri. I smile spreads over her pale white face.

"Ah Dimitri. I wondered what had happened to you. I had heard that you were the first. It is still something to see before beleiving. We have missed you my dear. No one has ever been as rutheless as you were. I guess in a way you got what you wanted. You got your little Gaurdian. Though it seems to me to be a bit of a backwards way to get her. I know she has only just come back but.. Do you know what she has been up to for these past few years? Ah the look on your face tells me that she has told you something but perhaps she has not told you the most important of all. For I doubt very much that you would be fighting beside her if you only knew."

I tensed at her words and glanced quickly to my side. Dimitri looks the same as ever. Cool, calm and collected, but I could see the confusion in his eyes.

"You always liked the sound of your own voice Elizabeth. Quite frankly you annoyed me when I was undead and you annoy me even more so now." He says in a bored tone. I smile to myself.

The female Strigoi, Elizabeth hissed at this.

"Kill them all except the pretty little Dhampir bitch at the front there and the once was strigoi. They get to be my toys." She demanded of the other strigoi. I took a deep breath, followed by another. It was almost like I was meditating. I was getting my mind set fixed just like I had been taught. It was a shadow kissed trick that I had been taught. I could put my self in a trance like state where I didnt feel pain, didnt think just moved. It heightened all my senses. When I did this, though, I was exhausted for days after. So I only did it when it was neccessary, and right now it was neccessary. I opened my eyes and watched the advancing strigoi. My world narrowed down to nothing but the coming fight.


	8. Fight

**Okay so I have found some inspiring music and am attempting to get this chapter just right. **

**Please read and review I love hearing what you have to say. It gives me courage to keep writing. **

**Enjoy xx.**

_My world narrowed down to nothing but the coming fight._

The first strigoi to come forward tried to lunge straight at me for the grab. He must have been new. It seemed to me that he was unbeleivably slow. I dodged to the side and staked him as he came past me. One down only about twenty nine to go. The next one approached me with a bit more caution than his dead aquantance did. He swung his fist at my head, I dropped to my knees and went to sweep his legs out from under him. He saw my attack and jumped, I still clipped him and he staggered. I leapt up and kicked him full in the face his head snapped back, as soon as his eyes were off me I slid the stake in between his ribs peircing his heart. They seemed to watch each other and learn from the others mistake. This time two came at me at once. I crouched lower to the ground, they fell into fighting stances only a few feet from me. I watched them both steadily with out actually focusing on one or the other. One went to punch my side the other went to kick the opposite side. I dodged the kick, which would do more damage, the punch landed heavily into my side. I grunted barely feeling the pain. I had faught with worse injuries than this. I followed the momentum of the punch and kicked out at the one who had kicked me. I landed on the balls of my feet and jumped high as I saw them both lunge at me from each side. They collided and I twisted in mid air. I came down inches from the one who had punched me, pushing my stake into that ones heart. I saw the other swing at me and only just managed to dodge the worst of the hit. It still caught me in the cheek, I felt my bones break. The adrenalin coursing through my body kept me from feeling the pain. I rolled when I got close to the ground. Jumping back up I notice that the strigoi is on fire. I lunge forward and jam my stake into his back through to his heart. I pulled my stake free as he dropped. I look up to the ranks of strigoi. It doesnt seem to be many gone. I dont know how long I fought, but they got smarter and smarter. It seemed that in just this short time they could study my fighting method and adjust. Good thing that I hadnt pulled out all the stops yet. I could feel a bone deep weariness eating at me. Where the hell were the others? They should have been here by now. I look around and notice that we have only lost one Gaurdian. I decide to give it another half hour for the rest of them to get here. It was night now and we had been fighting for hours. I pull my mind back to the fight. A group of seven decend on us now so I shift so that I am back to back with Dimitri. I can feel him breathing heavily. I myself am only just starting to puff. Two of the strigoi burst into flames before they even have a chance to get closer to us. They charge us together. I kick one in the chest so that he staggers back. I punch another one in the face with as much force as I can get. I know I am almost as fast as the strigoi. The next one is stupid and just lunges in I stake him quickly using his own forward motion to make my job easier. The other two have come together and start forward again. A malicious grin on thier faces. I dont even notice thier sex anymore when I am fighting them. The one on the left is tall over six foot easily. I use his height against him and duck under his attack, I come up on his side and slam my fists into his chest. He stumbles back and I jump on him with as much force as I can muster knocking him to the ground I stake him quickly. I shift back against Dimitri he has one more left so do I. This one is cautious we exchange a few heavy blows. I am getting tired now. All of a sudden thier heads are on fire. We waste no time in staking them. I look up to where the rest of the strigoi are. They are milling around. It seems like they dont want to fight us. I take this moment to speak to christian through the radios.

"Christian can you hear me?"

"Yeah Rose."

"Good, Now listen, in my bag there will be two long thin tubes. I need you to pull them from my bag. DO NOT OPEN THEM. Just pull them from my bag as they are. Do you understand me?"

"Yeah I hear ya. What do you want me to do with them when I have them?"

"Just get them first then I will tell you what to do."

"Ok give me a sec." I can hear him grunting as he manouvers to get my bag and what I have asked him to retreive from them. It doesnt take him long before he has them. I can feel them singing to me. They are mine and no other can handle them with out being hurt.

"Ok Rose I have them. What now?"

"Open the window and throw them to me. Quickly, try to get them to land at my feet. Once they are seen all hell is going to brake loose. Do the windows up and dont come out till I tell you to. Ok?"

"Got it Rose." He answers with out an argument. I know that Dimitri has heard my conversation with Christian.

"Dimitri when I get these I need you to head around to the side of the car, help the other Gaurdians. I need space to work and cant have anyone in my way." I tell him quickly. We dont have much time.

"Roza this isnt smart."

"Trust me Comrade. I'll be okay. Just really really exhausted when this is over. I can hear the others coming. Tell them all to stay away from me until the last strigoi is gone. I will not be responsible for anyone who does not obey."

"Roza what are you going to do?" He whisper urgently.

I feel a soft thump at my feet. "Sorry Comrade no time to explain. Just do as I ask please."

I bend down and pick up the two long thin tubes. I can feel Dimitri move back. My blood is singing in my veins. I press a button mid way down each tube and the top pops back, reveiling a long slim black handle with ancient carvings etched in it. I grip each handle and flick the covers away to reveal two magnificent and anceint silver swords about two and a half feet long. I vagually hear the growls and hisses coming from the remaining strigoi. Did they really think I would come out unprepared? I step forward and swing my swords to make sure I have enough room. They swords hiss through the air. I smile a small chilling smile.

"Bring it." I say so quietly that I am sure only the strigoi can hear me.

With that they all start jogging towards us. I notice a few split of, but they are not my concern. Before I have any more time to think I am in action. Attacking, blocking, thrusting all my senses narrow to the feel and movement of my swords. I feel them bite through flesh time and time again, but I dont stop. I cant stop until every strigoi in the region is gone. I swing and thrust. Turn and dodge in this violently beautiful dance. I dont feel tired, I dont feel pain only the glory of the swords. The purpose for which they were made sings through me. I have lost track of everything. I have no idea how much time has passed until the swords stop thier relentless movement. I drop to my knees exhausted, I pitch forward my forehead meeting the ground. I can feel the agony now and the exhaustion. I feel someone approach and snarl at them.

"Dont come any closer until they are away. Its not safe." I say in a hoarse voice. I reach around my back and find the sword cases. I slip one then the other into the protective hard wood covers. As I clip each lid in place and murmer a few words over them. I place them carefully on the ground besides me.

"They are safe to handle now, but do not for any reason take them out of the cases. They are mine and will answer to no other." I say.

I let myself lay on the ground, I am so exhausted.

"I need a drink bad." I mumble before passing out completely.

I awake to bright shiny white walls.

"Ah crap." I mumble. I turn my head and see four faces looking at me with worry. I smile. Theres not much else I can do. I feel like I have had dirt poured down my throat and my legs and arms feel like jelly.

"Momma, Momma." The twins squeel

"Its okay babies. Im ok." I reassure them.

I look over to Lissa's and then Dimitri's face. I can feel Lissa's releif and gratitude surge through the bond.

"When do I get to get out of here?" I ask in my typical old fashion. I hate hospitals and clinics. I spent enough time in one when I was a teenager to last me a life time. Even when I had the twins I didnt stay longer than was neccessary. Lissa laughs.

"You havent changed that much. Even if you are a wicked deadly badass." She says grinning from ear to ear. I can see that she is bouncing in her seat so I do the freind thing and ask.

"Liss why cant you sit still?"

At this Lissa launches herself ontop of me and hugs me with an almost bone crushing intensity.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for getting my baby girl back to me." She gushes at me.

I blush, she is acting like I was the only one that went to rescue the kids. I didnt even do that much.

"Liss. Cant. Breath."

"Oh. Sorry" she says sheepishly.

"I wasnt the only one that went Liss." I blurt out feeling embarrassed.

"Oh, I know. But I have already thanked everyone else. I just had to wait for you to wake as usual." She smuggly answers me.

I decide not to dignify that with a response so I ask something else.

"How long have I been out?"

"Three days." Dimitri answers me with a smile. My heart flutters at that smile.

"Oh crap." I remember then."where are they? Where are my swords?" I am starting to panic.

"Dont worry Roza I put them in your room as soon as we got back. After making sure you got to the clinic, of course."

I sigh and relax a bit. Lissa goes to find the nurse to check when I can go home. Home I like the sound of that. It feels so right.

"Roza." His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Mmm"

"What were they? Where did you get them? I have so many questions, and I am not the only one."

"I know Comrade." I sigh. "I will answer any questions, once I am up and about again. Here is not the right time or place." I think for a minute.

"Well I will answer any questions I can. There is still a lot I have to learn." I say correcting myself. Lissa walks into the room with a smirk on her face.

"The nurse has gone to lunch. So you have to wait till she is back and has a moment to discharge you."

"Of course." I murmer. I lay back and close my eyes. I feel four sets of lips brush my head. The last ones lingering a bit longer than the others.

"Rest well Roza. Its good to have you back." I smile and hear the door close softly as I drift into sleep.

**Well there it is. Hope I didnt disapoint. xx**


	9. almost an explanation

**Okay not a very exciting chapter but you get a couple of explanations and about a hundred more questions..**

**Please read and review. **

**Enjoy xx**

I walked slowly through the front door and made my way to Lissa's loungeroom. I sat on the large three seater and leant back with a sigh. It was great to be out of the clinic. I was wearing a pair of my sweat pants and an old tank top. Lissa had bought them over to the clinic so I could shower and change before being discharged. I could feel that she was worried that I would slip and fall in the shower, or something along those lines, if I had showered at her place. Aargh I needed to see about getting my own place here, not to mention all the kids and my stuff packed and sent. Now that my brain has started to work again I need something to do with my hands. I look around the room and notice the door to my bedroom. Dimitri had said that he put my swords in my room. They needed cleaning. Pushing myself out of the too comfortable chair I make my way to my room. I can feel the swords right away. Bending down I rumage through my suitcase to find my cleaning kit. I make myself comfortable on the bed and pull the first sword to me. I press the button on the case and it pops open. I start the slow process of cleaning my swords, I let my mind wander while I do. How much do I tell everyone? I had hoped not to explain this part of my life for at least a couple of weeks. Oh well, it cant be helped now. I will just have to tell as much as I can. Obviously there are somethings that cant be known yet. I will tell what I can to the people who matter the most. The rest can just chew on it.

I've just finished my second sword when I hear voices in the kitchen and loungeroom. It seems my story telling will be begining sooner than I expected. Hell who am I kidding? I am surprised that I got this time to myself. I get off the bed and put the swords up high out of reach. My children know not to touch them, but other children dont. I would rather not have an accident happen that could have been prevented.

I walk out and sit on the recliner. Alberta and Eddie are already on the three seater, and I want some space while I speak to everyone. I can hear the kids laughter coming from Andrea's room, it sounds so sweet the three of them playing together.

"Hey Rose. You want a coffee?" Christian yells from the kitchen.

"Ugh. No thanks I cant stand the stuff. You dont have any Chai do you?"

"Not normally but I will have a look." I can hear him rumaging through the cupboards. Lissa walks out of thier bedroom with a towel wrapped around her hair.

"Look in the cupboard that we keep the tea and coffee in." She yells at Christian whilst walking towards us rolling her eyes. I slap my hand over my mouth trying to muffle the giggle that threatens to slip out.

"Dont you roll your eyes at me Vasilisa Dragomir." Christian yells back.

That did it for me I laughed out loud.

"If I scold my tongue on my tea Christian Ozera you so will not be getting any for a month." Lissa looks at me with an evil grin playing on her lips. I can hear her through the bond.

_one, two, three and..._

"Ah shit, Liss thats so not fair." He calls back to her, mumbling he adds "Now I have to her make another cup of tea."

Now instead of just laughter I was having full blown hysterics. I was laughing so hard that my sides were aching. Christian walked in carrying a tray of mugs followed by Dimitri carrying one lone mug.

"I beleive that this one is yours." Dimitri smiles at me handing over the mug. I smile back.

"Thanks."

The kids pick this moment to stick thier heads out the bedroom door.

"Momma do you feel better now?" Cally asks me.

"You look better Momma." Mason adds.

"Aunt wose. You fawl downd. You swing da sicks and den you fawl downd." Andrea adds to the twins observations.

"Momma did you use the swords?" Mason asks me with large eyes.

"Yeah baby. I had to." I answer him.

"Momma its good when you use the swords." Cally answers me.

"Yeah it takes your bad colours away." Mason finishes.

"I know kids. I just dont like using them they can be really dangerous sometimes." I have told them this before.

"Momma you dont have to worry so much they listen now." Cally says as she walks over to hold my hand.

"They listen more now but not always." Mason glares over at his sister as he comes to hold my other hand. I smile at them both. They always make me feel better. Even when they arent acting years older than they actually are. There is a knock on the door so Lissa gets up to answer it. While she is gone Christian leans over to her mug reaching out his hand.

"I wouldnt sparky." I say to him with a grin.

He looks up at me with the biggest smile "Hey she said if she scolded her tongue. So I wont let her scold her tongue." He leans back in his seat just as Adrian walks in followed by Sam, who is on crutches with a broken leg.

"Little Dhampir." Adrian greets me while coming over to give me a big hug. "I hear you were rather badass out there." He gives me a knowing look. I have told Adrian everything, even the stuff that I cant yet tell the others. I hug him back.

"Yeah you know me. I've always been badass." I say dryly.

I was glad that Adrian was here. His support has been almost the only thing that has kept me going at times. Of course the twins have been the other.

"Hey Rose. Glad to see you looking better than when I last saw you." Sam greets me.

"Yeah well the perks to having a bondmate who is a spirit user. Sucks to be you though." I remark "And when did you see me last?"

"Well that would be when they were stuffing your lazy ass self into the car. I dont know honestly, falling asleep during an epic battle like that. Thought you were a badass." He laughs while he says this. I know he is flirting with me.

"I am a badass. I could whip yours without even breaking a sweat. Too bad you have a broken leg or I would set a time to spar with you. But I think all that hands on goodness wouldnt be good for your recovery." I throw him my man eating smile.

He blushes before answering me "Well we will see about that. I was hoping that your bondmate would take pity on me and heal me, that is if she is up for it."

We all turn to Lissa who has just picked up her mug. I see Christian stand up and walk towards the door. Uh oh what has he done. Lissa looks at us.

"Yeah Sam I would be happy to, but not right now I need a bit more sleep. How about tomorrow." she asks. I am watching her intently as is Adrian, Dimitri, Alberta and Eddie. The last three and myself saw Christian do something to her mug. Adrian just saw Christians reaction and no doubt his aura. Liss doesnt notice us watching her as she turns her attention back to her cup of tea. She takes a mouthfull and sprays it all over the lounge.

I look up to the door way but Christian is already gone from view.

"Christian Ozera I warned you." Lissa yells at the top of her lungs.

"No you said that if you scolded your tongue I wouldnt get any for a month." He is laughing so hard now he can barly speak. "You..d-didnt sc-scold your t-t-tounge."

"He has a point Liss." I cant help but put my two cents in "What exactly did he do anyway?". She glares at me.

"Yeah I guess he does have a point, and he took all the heat from my cup so I have an almost icy cup of tea" She growls.

"But?" I ask. I can hear a big but coming along.

"But, pay back is a bitch." She replies with the biggest grin on her face.

Oh, shit. I really need to get my own place. Otherwise I will constantly have a stich from laughing.

Sam is standing there looking at as all with shock.

"Dont worry Sam. You will get used to us." Myself and Lissa pipe up at exactly the same time. This sent us into another fit of hysterics. Even Dimitri cracked a grin.

Once everyone had stopped laughing I looked over to Alberta.

"I guess you want my story now huh?" I ask.

"Yes I beleive I do." She answers with a smile.

I sigh okay this is it time to tell my tale, well most of it. I take a deep breath and begin.

"A few months after I left I accidently stumbled upon a couple of strigoi. They were in a park not far from where I was staying. I was on my way to get a shake because I was craving one. I know, stupid to be out wondering around by myself in the dark. Anyway they realised what I was and attacked me. I fought back and managed to stake them, and thats saying something considering I had about two months to go. They got in a few good hits though and I passed out once I had killed them. Naturally I dont remember much until I woke up. Man did I get a surprise when I woke. I was in a comfortable, warm bed. I felt better than I had in ages. The people who live in that house introduced themselves. They were shadow kissed gaurdians who had lost thier bond mates. They explained a few things about being shadow kissed and told me to get in contact once I had given birth, then sent me on my way. By this stage Adrian had almost tracked me down. So I waited and finally saw Adrian and had the twins. Adrian got me a house and set myself and the kids up. I got a job and all but forgot about the group of Shadow Kissed. The kids were only a few months old when they contacted me. They told me I needed to start training with them as soon as possible. It was good timing because Adrian was due to visit. When he came I told him about the Group and that they wanted me to train. He said he would look after the kids while I went. So I started training. It was the toughest training I have ever done in my life. Even when I was at the academy I dont think I had that many injuries, not to mention how out of shape I was. There is so much that has been lost. So many different fighting styles and techniques. They said it had been passed down from Shadow Kissed to Shadow Kissed through out the ages. Adrian installed a gym and I started running. Pushing myself to exhaustion. I think Adrian ended up staying with us for a little over three months. When I asked him what he had told anyone who asked where he was. He said that he told you all that he had gone on a holiday overseas. Anyway, I trained and trained. I started to see the difference in my body and stamina, not to mention my speed, physical strength. The biggest change was to the way I thought. I became stronger in every way possible. The biggest, and in my view best, thing that I was taught was how to use the darkness to my advantage. You know, instead of it using me. I had been training and hunting with them for just over two years when they told me that I was ready. I had no idea what they were talking about. The next time I went to train with them they instead had, what they call a gifting ceremony. I was gifted with the swords, I also recieved a couple of tattoos. The swords are known as the Swords of The Shadow Kissed. They can only be used by the person to whom they were gifted. They are imbued with the magic of centuries and centuries. Some of the magic is so old that it has been lost over time. But once the magic has been added to the swords it never leaves, it only gets stronger as the years go by. I have been using the swords now for just over two years. I dont always use them because when I do I end up exhausted. As you saw. The swords use my darkness but they also use alot of strength to control them. When it is time for me to stop fighting they will be passed on to the next Shadow Kissed Warrior. That is what I am known as. The Shadow Kissed Warrior. It is a blessing and a burdon, but I carry it with pride."

I finished saying what I was allowed to say. I knew there would be questions that I wouldnt be able to answer. I looked around the room.

"Thats what you ment by paying the price." Dimitri said. It wasnt a question but I answered him all the same.

"Yes. That is what I ment."

"Who are these shadow kissed? Can we contact them?" Alberta asked. I know she was thinking about the training that could be implimented into the school, it could be handy for all gaurdians to learn.

I shook my head. "No I can not tell you thier names yet. Nor can we contact them, it isnt time. They will come and make themselves known but not before time. I will try to teach anyone who wants to learn what I can. "

"What do you mean before time?" Eddie asked

"They have been following a prophecy for a long time and it seems that the prophecy is starting to play out. That is all they have told me so dont even bother asking what the prophecy is. All I know is that it involves Lissa, Adrian, Christian, Dimitri, you Eddie and myself. Not to mention the twins and Andrea. I was told that for the best possible future I had to keep everyone who is in the prophecy alive."

"So does it have all our names in it?" Asked Christian in a sarcastic tone.

"No sparky you fool. It refers to the Dragomir Queen, The Shadow Kissed Warrior, The Dhampir with the returned soul, The Dream Walker, The fire user who holds the Queens heart, The first born of the Queen, The Twins who are born of the Dhampir parents." I pointed to each in turn as I said the references.

"I thought you said that I was in it as well." Eddie asks looking a little disapointed.

"You are, but you were the hardest one to work out. The heart brother of the shadow kissed warrior, the one who has protected and defended. He will bear a sign of identity on his back from birth. Eddie it took me ages to remember about your birth mark. It looks like a pair of crossed swords doesnt it. With like a little shape underneath them."

"Yeah. I showed you when we were kids. I think we were maybe ten or something."

"Yeah. Thats why I didnt figure it out till I was looking at old photos a few months back. Well it was actually Lissa who was looking at the old photos, I was just along for the ride."

"I hate how you can do that you know." Lissa grumbled as she always did.

"Not much you can do about it Liss." I say dryly.

"I rang the group just before I left the clinic today. They filled in the blanks that I hadnt been told, the ones about the people in the prophecy. Like for example I didnt know about the Dragomir Queen." I shoot a dark look at Lissa. At least she had the decency to blush. "How the hell did you manage to keep it from me. I was in your bloody head almost everynight."

"Well it actually happened rather quickly, I had heard rumours about a new queen being voted in and that the coronation was to follow. It was all planned to happen as fast as possible, you know to restore some order and peace. They asked me and I accepted. It all happened at about the same time as I was planning the wedding and to be honest, I was a hell of a lot more interested in our wedding than I was in politics."

Somehow this coming from Lissa made perfect sense. She would be more excited about getting married. I laughed, what else could I do or say to that.

I looked over to Alberta and asked "Do you have any more questions. I will answer what I can."

"What and where are these tattoos?" she ased me.

I pulled the thick leather wrist covers I usually wore of. Underneath on the inside of each wrist was a small intricate orchard. Amongst it were a few symbols that had not been used in a long time and over the top was a pair of crossed swords. I had been told what they meant but it was highly unlikely that anyone would know thier meaning.

Alberta looked them over, then looked up at me.

"Anything else?" I ask

"No. I beleive that you have told us all you can at this point in time. What I wouldnt give to meet these shadow kissed." She answered me.

"Yeah well they arent what you expect them to be." I say back truthfully.

If only they knew. I looked around the room at each person.

Eddie seemed to be satisfied, Lissa and Christian looked to be ok also. But I could feel through the bond that she was worried for her little girl, I knew she would ask me more questions when it was just the two of us. I would try my hardest to sooth her worrying. Sam seemed to have only grasped only half of the conversation. Adrian was looking at me with pride, he didnt have to ask any questions because, he knew more than anyone else in this room. Well except me that is. Lastly I looked at Dimitri he was deep in thought and had a slight frown on his face. He was also doing something I hadnt seen him do in forever. He was tugging on his bottom lip while he thought.

I stood up, my nerves and worry over this talk was now energy I had to burn.

My movement caused everyone to look at me.

"I need to move. I am going for a run." I tell them all.

I walk off before anyone can tell me I only just got out of the clinic today.

I grab my ipod off the bedside dresser and put on my running shoes. I tie my hair back as I walk out the door.

Suprise, surprise Dimitri is waiting outside for me.

"Mind if I join you?"

"You going to run in that?" I ask pointing to his jeans and boots.

"I have work out clothes in my locker in the gym." He smiles "It wont take me long to get changed."

"Fine by me. I will do my streches while you get changed."

He laughs, it is a deep rich sound. It rolls over me like lovers caress.

"Oh Roza like I said it doesnt take me long to get changed. I will be there stretching with you before you even realise it."

I smile and shrugg my shoulders.

He walks off to the locker room while I go to the mats in the middle of the gym to begin my stretches. He was right it wasnt long before he joined me and was doing his own stretches. Once I was satisfied with my stretching I got up and headed for the doors. I wasnt going to push myself. I only wanted to burn the energy not exhaust myself. I set out at a steady jog with Dimitri beside me. My mind flashed back to the days I had first started training with him, when we used to run just like this. Side by side, keeping pace with each other. It used to be one of my favourite things to do with him. We jogged in silence it wasnt until the tenth lap that Dimitri spoke up. I must admit that I was waiting for him to speak. But I didnt expect him to say what he did.

"Roza. This shadow kissed group. They have all been Shadow Kissed warriors have they not?" I stopped abruptly.

"What did you say?"

"Well I am just remembering. Ive heard about them, but, well at the time I had other things on my mind."

"Huh. When did you hear about them?" I ask. I hope he doesnt say what I think he is going to say.

"When I was a Strigoi." He answers me quietly.

"Ah Shit." Is all I can get to come out of my mouth.


	10. Heart Sore

**Okay guys not a big chapter but things have been hectic at home this last week and I need to get my head into writing mode again.**

**Please read and review. BTW thanks for all the excellent reviews and I have no intention of leaving the story unfinished, so rest easy.**

**Enjoy xx**

"Dimitri what do you know? Tell me exactly what you know." I demanded.

He looked me straight in the eyes, many emotions flashed across his face. Anger, worry, fear, amusement and last of all sadness.

"Rose, I know that you cant leave the Shadow Kissed Warriors. I know what you agreed to at the gifting ceremony. The Warriors have been talked about and hunted for milenia by the strigoi. When...when I heard about it I didnt really care, like I said I had other things on my mind." He looked down at the ground when he said the last bit. I had an idea as to what he was so busy about. But me and my mouth I couldnt help but ask.

"These other things. Well were they about the same time that Lissa went to the collage for the first time?" I asked.

He shook his head and started to fidget with his finger nails.

Okay so it wasnt the time I was thinking it was. Then it hit me. He had heard about them in Siberia. I wasnt sure if I could ask about that. I stood there chewing my bottom lip. Hesitantly I reached out and placed my hand on his arm. He was trembling slightly, so slightly you had to touch him to know.

"Comrade, was it?" I let the question hang in the air. He would know what I was talking about. He looked up at me his eyes full of shame.

"Oh Roza. The things I did." I cut him of when I put my hand over his mouth.

"Its the past. We have both moved beyond that. Neither one of us can go back and change what happened. You cant dwell on the past Comrade. It will only cloud your future." I told him. Looking intently into his eyes.

He lowered his head slowly towards mine never breaking eye contact. I rose up on my toes to meet him. Our lips touched and I felt the same spark that we'd had years ago. At first it was a light sweet kiss, then it became harder and hungrier. Like we both had been starved of food, air and love. My arms circled his neck while his wrapped firmly around my waist. I forgot about the world around me and melted into the kiss. Nothing else existed except the feel of his lips against mine and his tongue as it gently stroked against mine. Then I heard some distant yelling and it was like having cold water splashed over me. I pulled back and gasped what had I been doing. I pushed my way out of his hold and ran without looking back. I ran as hard and fast as I could. Not thinking not looking just running. When I finally stopped I braced my hands on my knees and caught my breath. Finally breathing easily I raise my head and look around. I know this place. Its where we crossed the wards when we went to rescue those that had been taken, after the school had been attacked by strigoi. This is where I sat waiting for them to bring back Dimitris body. This is where I found out that the man I loved had been turned strigoi. So many memories flooded my mind. I crumpled at the base of a tree, drew my knees upto my chest and cried. I cried for the friends that I had lost, for my lost innocence, for my childhood. Most of all I cried for what had been ripped away from me so viciously, my heart. How the hell did my life turn out like it had? I had a plan, I knew what I wanted to do. This was not it. I love my children they are my own beautiful miracle, but how do you plan to have children with another damphir? For so long I had focused on anything except my heart, now my heart was finally shouting out to be heard. To be healed. Only its not that easy. Its not all fairy tale endings, not in real life.

I sat there letting the peace wash over me. My phone buzzed several times but I couldnt bring myself to answer it. I was in no mood to talk to anyone just yet. I sorted through the knarled mess that was my thoughts. I heard a noise behind me and turned to see Alberta walking towards me. She didnt look worried or angry which I suppose were good things. I turned back, she would have seen me and I guess it was me she was looking for. Glancing at the sky I got a shock. It was lightening into dawn, I had been out here for a long time.

"Nice and quiet out here." Alberta said as positioned herself against a tree across from me.

"Yeah, it is."

Silence fell between us. It wasnt an uncomfortable silence, just a companiable one.

"Belikov told me what happened."

I laughed "How did you get that out of him? Torture?"

Alberta laughed in response. "No no. I just gave him my infamous glare and he told me everything. He is worried about you Rose. He cares deeply for you. He hasnt been this happy or easy to get along with since, well, since you left. I suppose you could even say since before you left."

"Yeah well in my opinion he is still a pain in the ass." I say dryly.

"Much the same as someone else I know hey Rose?" Alberta chuckled.

"Rose I watched you grow into a brilliant, smart and lethal young woman. Now you are a mother and those children of yours, well, you have done an excellent job in raising them. They are truly special. They need to start school. They need to learn how to protect them selves and the people they care about. When they get to adulthood and step out into the world, they need all the knowledge they can get. Its not safe out there, it never will be, not for our kind. We need you back in the ranks. We need what you can teach us. A war is coming and we are going to need everyone we can get. I wont loose children to those evil creatures."

I looked up into her face and saw that she spoke only the truth.

"What do I do about Dimitri?" I ask her. "I want to stay and I want the twins to learn but.." I trailed of.

"Rose I cant tell you what to do about Dimitri. I do know how ever, that you need to let your heart love again. Whether its Dimitri or somebody else." She shrugged her shoulders. "Though I think you and Dimitri should give it another shot. I have seen the way you two are around each other."

I gaped at my once teacher now friend. "But..How..We.." I stammered.

"I have not been around teenagers these past twenty years without learning a thing or two." She smiled indulgently at me "He maybe head gaurdian at the school but he still deferes to me in most things, except fighting and training. Now get your but up and lets head back. I am tired and need rest and you my dear have some choices to make."

I got up and dusted off my butt. My mind was whirling. Do I give Dimitri and I a chance or do I move on. Perhaps I should give him a chance, maybe things will be better this time around without the sneaking and lying. If I do give him this chance then I am going to have to tell him the truth. All of it. After all the kids will need thier father, its part of the reason I came back.


	11. Overdue Conversation

**Okay a couple more questions answered. Please let me know what you think. **

**Enjoy. xx**

We walked back to the buildings in the early morning light.

"I guess I will leave you to it." Alberta said before she headed towards the gaurdian building.

"Mmm-Hmm. Thanks heaps."

"You are more than welcome Rose. You know if there is ever anything I can do I will."

I smiled as I walked to the building that Lissa's and Christians apartment was in. It wasnt until I got to the door that I noticed a figure leaning against the wall.

"Dimitri we need to have a long serious talk."

"I agree, we do Roza."

"The gym?" I asked.

He didnt answer just started walking towards the gym. I pulled my phone out to let Lissa know what was happening. After this is all sorted out I am going to spend some quality time with my kids. I havent seen them much these past couple of days.

**Liss just going to the gym with D. Need to sort this out once and for all. Are the twins ok?**

I waited outside the gym doors for Lissa's reply.

**They are fine Rose. You need to take care of this before it causes you or him any more hurt, not to mention the kids. Take your time.**

I smiled. It was great to be amongst friends again. It was great to be with Lissa again. I pushed the doors open and walked in. Dimitri was sitting on the mats in the middle of the gym. I made my way over to him and sat crossed legged, opposite him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay so where do we begin?" I asked him.

"Why dont we begin with us? I want to be with you Rose. I want a second chance. What I said that day in the church was, well, it was wrong. I thought I was protecting you. I was trying to do something right, I didnt want to mess up your life. I guess I was too late for that. I want you to be with me again, I want to have a family with you, Cally and Mason. Will you try again Rose? With me?" He looked me in the eyes the whole time he spoke.

I sat there and arranged the thoughts that where flying around my head. I smiled and answered him.

"Dimitri, you hurt me. I wont deny it, when you said what you did I wanted to die. I still love you I always have, even after what you said to me. I want the twins to know thier father, to know you. I would like to try again, but at the moment I need a little time. We need to take things real slow. I am talking about slower than snail pace slow." I took shaky breath. Dimitri was regarding me with a slightly confused look. I raised my eyebrows at him as a question to what was on his mind.

"How long do you need?" Was all he asked.

"Give me two days. I need to talk to the kids and explain to them. Also I have to make plans to get all our shit packed and posted. I deffinately have to get a place for me and the kids. I know Lissa loves having us stay with her, but I need my own space. I have become used to having my own space and solitude and you cant get that from living in a full apartment. I need to check what will be needed or wanted of me, you know work ways." I smiled. The more I talked the better I felt. Like a weight had been lifted.

"Okay. How about three days? You have a lot to do and two days is not enough to do all that. Three days time we will have dinner. I will teach you and the kids how to make black bread. We will all cook dinner together. Then we will watch a movie, just a family night no pressure."

"Sounds good to me. So what do we talk about next?" I asked him. As I watched him, his eyes seemed to cloud with worry.

"Would you be able to tell me more about the shaow kissed warriors? I remember what little I have heard but, it seems to me that there is more to it."

I sighed. I knew this was coming but still, it didnt make it any easier.

"Ok first I need to know exactly what you have heard. Then I will either correct or fill in what I can. Sound fair?"

Dimitri nodded his head.

"Okay what I have heard." He stopped and seemed to be gathering his thoughts. "The shadow kissed warriors are till death. Once you are gifted you are given a gift that goes beyond death. When you join you cant ever leave. Also they are very feared among the strigoi, they are near impossible to kill. I have heard bits and peices about this prophecy. Isnt it supposed to mean the end of strigoi once and for all?"

"Okay so you have heard a fair bit but alot of the main reasoning behind it is missing. There are some parts I cant clarify or correct simply because I don't know. Alright the first part is wrong the shadow kissed warriors arent till death they go, as you say, beyond death. You see when we are gifted we are also given the choice to live past our bondmates. Which isnt as easy as you might think. Loosing your bondmate is like loosing half of yourself, half your soul. Only the strongest can and do choose this, but, they arent the same. Thier eyes are dull, thier smiles are only half there and you can always tell they deeply miss thier other half. Alot of shadow kissed see this and decline the offer. Now the reason that this gift is offered is to fight the strigoi, only not in the way you seem to think. The prophecy tells of a time when all strigoi will be saved, bought back as it were. Even if this does happen the warriors have chosen and nothing can change that. They cant be released or even saved. They will continue to go on forever." I looked down at my hands as I twisted them nervously. "Dimitri you cant tell anyone about any of this. I have told them what I can. If Lissa found out about this it would ruin her, she would blame herself. It was my choice, I was not decieved. They told me the truth, all of it. I made my decision after alot of thought."

Dimitri took a deep breath and I just knew what he was going to ask.

"No." I said forcefully.

"No what?"

"No I will not tell you what I chose." I was not ready for that to be common knowledge.

"I have one more question." He asked. Dimitri's cheeks filled with colour. I smiled at his discomfort. Obviously it was going to be an imbarassing question, for him or me was one thing yet to be discovered. I nodded my head indicating him to ask.

"Have you and Adrian. Um. Well, how close are you two?" He fidgetted while he waited for my answer.

I was that shocked I sat there in silence for a minute before the laughter errupted from me. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. I lay down clutching my sides trying to catch my breath. When I could finally talk I answered him.

"Oh Comrade. Adrian and I are more like brother and sister. We have only ever been intamate once and that was before I left. If I were to think of doing that now. Ewww. He was my only family when I had none. He was my rock, my pillar of strength. I dont know what I would have done if it werent for Adrian. He saved me and my, our, children in more ways than I can say. He saved me from going crazy and I saved him from going crazy. I will always be there for him, just as I know he will always be there for me and the kids." I smiled. It was true Adrian was just as much apart of me as Lissa was.

"Hmm. I always wondered what it was that stopped him smoking and drinking himself into oblivian. When he was gone for those few months he came back a different person. I guess now I know why. I am grateful that you had someone that you could trust in and rely on Roza. Even if I would never had picked that person to be Adrian. He used to be so irresposible, so reckless. Those first couple of months just after you left he was a mess. I didnt realise how much he cared about you. The children certainly love him."

"Yes they do." I agreed. " I saw what my leaving did to you all. I checked in with Lissa at least once a week to begin with. It was hard forcing myself to do even that little bit, but I did. I saw Adrian destroying himself. He was using so much spirit to find me that the darkness was getting really bad. The only way he had to deal with the darkness was getting drunk and smoking those god aweful cigaretes. Thats why I pretty much told him where I was, I didnt want him to destroy himself over me. I know Liss was hurt, angry and upset, but she had Christian and you to help her out. Adrian had no one really and then when Tatiana died." I trailed of.

Dimitri's eyes filled with a brightness that made me wary. I thought about what I had just said and could have slapped myself.

"Roza, do you know who killed Tatiana?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes at him and looked at the roof. I had already told Adrian who had done it, I guess I could tell Dimitri as long as he kept it to himself. Which was highly unlikely.

"I told you before that I knew who had killed her." I answered sharply. Hoping he would leave it at that. However I knew he wouldnt.

He looked at me expectantly, he even raised one eyebrow. I growled under my breath.

"Aargh.. It was Adrians father alright. He was jealous of Adrians relationship with her and he didnt much like me, so he thought he could well, kill two brids with one stone so to speak. Only he had no idea that I had left and that people had seen the queen alive after I had left. He wasnt very smart. Typical self centred royal if you ask me."

"But Nathan Ivashkov has not been seen or heard from in years."

"Yeah I know." I answered wearily. " When I told Adrian he came and made his dad leave. I dont think even his mother knows what happened. Adrian said she thought he had left her for some blood whore, Adrian didn't even attempt to tell her the truth. No one has heard from him since. It does have me a little worried because Adrian has told me he cant even dream walk with him. Its like he doesnt sleep. So our best conclusions are that he is dead or well, undead."

"Well I guess that is a problem for another day." Dimitri mused aloud.

I kept my mouth shut, if only he knew. I myself thought that Nathan Ivashkov had gone strigoi. I also thought he had something to do with the strigoi group attacks. Yet I didnt for one second beleive that he was alone in orchestrating all of this, he didnt come across that smart the first and last time I had ever talked to him. This was all just my gut feeling, but my gut feeling rarely led me astray.

"Roza are you listening to me?" Dimitri's voice cut into my thoughts. I was grateful for it.

"Hmm were you talking to me. Sorry I was a million miles away."

"Yes I gathered that." He said dryly. "I asked you if you were ready to go back now. Unless of course you have more to talk about."

"Nope no more. I have told you what I cant tell the others. You have to swear not to tell them please."

He nodded his head and stood up. He stretched, then held out a hand for me. I took his hand and as he was pulling me up I couldn't help myself. I twisted and flipped him over my hip, but I over balanced and landed ontop of him with a thump. I looked into his beautiful brown eyes and laughed after a few seconds he laughed with me.

"Sorry Comrade, I sorta over balanced."

"Oh Roza, my Roza what am I going to do with you?"

I flipped myself to my feet as agile as a cat and smiled my man eater smile at him.

"Face it Comrade you have never known what to do with me, you still dont." I sauntered away swaying my hips in a seductive way. I heard a growl come from behind me. Only it was closer than it should have been. Before I could duck out of the way Dimitri grabbed my legs from behind me. I would have landed face down if it wasnt for all the extra training I'd had. As I fell foward I used my hands to brace myself and rolled away. I got up to see Dimitri in a fighting stance and a huge grin on his face.

"Oh you so dont want to go there Comrade." I warned him while I crouched down, getting into my fighting stance.

His only response was to make a come on getsure with his hand.

"Fine." I said getting ready to enjoy myself. "This should be fun. Basic sparring rules, any contact equals a point. If your pinned you loose. Let me know when you have had enough." I smiled evilly. This was going to be brilliant.


	12. WHOOPS!

**Sorry for the long wait. I know where I want to go with this story the problem is me getting it there. Oh and I found a couple more books that captured my intrest, so of course I had to finish reading them...**

**Hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

**Thanks for all the reveiws, I love reading them. **

**Enjoy. xx**

Dimitri's eyes never left my face as he nodded with a sharp jerk of his head. I kept smiling and breathed deeply, as I breathed I let myself relax into my fighting mind. Ok I know it was kind of like cheating but, hell if he wanted to spare me to see what I could do then, I was damn well not going to hold back. Of course I would have to let him get in a few hits before I royally kicked his ass. He feigned to my left and struck out with his right leg aiming a kick to my hip. I dodged easily seeing what he intended to do. I feigned left then right then kicked out with my left leg connecting with his thigh. He grunted, I knew it was a rathed tender spot on anyone.

"Point?" I asked him.

"Point" He conceded.

Dimitri punched out with his left fist, then spun quickly to kick my left hip. I didnt try to dodge it, instead letting it connect.

"Point?" He asked me smugly.

I nodded while I threw a kick towards his right hip, but instead punched him in the chest with my left fist. He stumbled back a few steps his eyes wide in shock.

"Point again?" I asked in a smart ass voice.

He smirked at me and nodded his head. We continued with the feigns and hits for a while. I had just got to twelve points with Dimitri on six when I realised we had an audience.

"Your holding back Roza." Dimitri said only slightly puffing.

"If I didnt I would probably do some wicked damage." I answered my voice still as ralaxed as it was before the fight.

"Dance with me Roza. Dont hold back."

The purr in his voice sent a wave of shivers down my spine. I smiled a predatory smile and in my most sexy, sultry voice answered him.

"You asked for it comrade. I do, however, apologize for any injury that I give you. You know there is going to be injury dont you?"

He looked me in the eye and I knew that, no matter what pain I caused him he needed to see me. The real fighting me. Oh boy this was going to be, well, interesting to say the least. I let my self go. I settled into feeling the fight, watching and anticipating the moves. I danced. Dimitri surprised me. He kept up with me fairly well, but then again I shouldnt have been surprised. He was, after all, a god as a great friend of mine had told me long ago. We lunged, feigned, kicked and moved with and into each other. I was starting to breath slightly heavier now, Dimitri was deffinately puffing. He was getting exhausted. I could go for alot longer but decided to finish it. As he lunged towards me I lept sideways and flung my foot out and kicked him in the ribs. He staggered a few steps then just as he was about to spin around I dropped and swept his legs from under him. He landed heavily with the air whooshing from his lungs. I sprung up and onto him my legs straddling him and placed my hand over his heart.

"Mine." I whispered.

I looked into his eyes and saw pride, love and yearning in those deep brown depths.

"Always." Was his only hoarse reply. I smiled and started to lean in to kiss him, when I registered the loud cheering in the gym. With a jerk I straightened and stood up. Holding my hand out to Dimitri I hauled him to his feet. When I tried to drop his hand he laced his fingers through mine. I glanced down at our intwined fingers and then back up at him. He was breathing heavily and had blood running from his nose. I blanched at the blood. When had I drawn blood? Dimitri smiled at me and squeezed my hand once.

"Well done Roza. You surely have surparssed your mentor." He said in a husky voice.

Smiling and in my typical cocky voice I answered him.

"You know it, comrade." I pulled my hand from his and walked over to the crowd that had gathered.

"Could you ask Lissa to please come and see me I need to sit for a moment. I have a broken nose, broken ribs, a possible dislocated arm and bruises all over me." He asked before I walked too far from him. My heart fluttered in my chest. What if I've done him some serious harm? I asked my self. I glanced up and saw Lissa there smiling at me I could feel how proud she was of me. I couldnt help but smile back.

_You were magnificent Rose. I imagine that Dimirti needs me in my cappacity as healer?_

I nodded at her. She walked forward and hugged me when we reached each other.

"You are amazing." She whispered feircly to me.

I squeezed her gently then whispered back.

"I hope I didnt damage him to badly." my voice cracked and Lissa looked at me with knowing eyes.

_Are you sure you want this again after what happened last time?_

"I was barely a kid then Liss. I have grown up a hell of a lot since then. I have locked my heart away for to long. Its time I let it out again."

_If he hurts you again I will knock him senseless then I will banish him to the worst place I can think of. _

She said feircly through our link. I chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. The knocking him senseless bit made me laugh, the banishment threat however had me a tad worried. I could see the twins at the front of the crowd and made my way to them.

"Oh my gosh." Cally exclaimed.

"You were so awesome." Mason gushed while bouncing around.

Adrian came to stand near us and flung his arm around my shoulders.

"My little Dhampir you are amazing." He said.

"Did you see when she pinned him.." Mason said at the same time Cally gushed.

"Did you see when she hit him in the nose.."

I looked at Adrian with shock. The twins never spoke over one another. They quite often argued and finished one anothers sentences but they never spoke over one another. I kneeled down so that I was at eye level with them and blurted "So you liked your mom kicking your dads but huh?"

As soon as I said it a slapped my hand over my mouth and looked up at Adrian with wide eyes. I had planned to tell them in the next couple of days but not like this.

The twins eyes were wide as they looked from me to Dimirti and back again.

"Oh, shit."

"Well I guess that's one way to tell them." Adrian said dryly.

"I..I..I dont know why I just blurted it out. Why the hell did I just do that?" My voice was getting louder and louder.

"Shh.. You will frighten them. Get your butt over there and warn Dimitri and Lissa. I will stay here with the twins nodd to me when you want me to bring them over."

"What the hell is wrong with me. Shit. Shit. Shit." I muttered to myself as I walked back towards Dimitri and Lissa.

I pulled my shoulders back and straightened my back as I got closer to them. I could feel the beauty of Lissa's magic as she worked it. It always felt so beautiful. Dimitri sat with his eyes closed. I cleared my throat as I got to them and they both looked up at me.

"Rose whats wrong? You look rather pale." Lissa asked me.

I tried to smile at her but my eyes shifted to Dimitri. His eyes widened and understanding dawned on his handsome features.

"Surprise." I told him "Your a dad."


	13. Author Note

Hey guys.

I am still writing. I havent up and dropped the story. I have had a really hectic past few weeks and very little time to write. Now that the family have all gone home (thank goodness) I have started on the next chapter. I will up date soon I promise you. Thanks for your patience.

You will get answers soon and more than likely a whole lot more questions that need answering. Take care and stay safe. Back to writing for me..;)..

xx


	14. Dad

**Okay, so, Dimitri did know he was the twins father, but Rose was yet to tell the twins that he was thier Dad. **

**Please review. Like I have said before I love reading your reviews. **

**Enjoy. xx.**

"Roza." Was all Dimitri could say.

I smiled at him. It was either smile or cry, me and my thoughtless big mouth. This so wasnt how I wanted to tell the twins, but there was no taking it back now. I just had to deal. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts I didnt hear what Lissa was saying.

"Huh?" I asked her.

She sighed and gave me the look. "I said, you just blurted it out didnt you? What exactly did you say?"

"Um, well, yes I did kind of, well, just blurt it out. I asked them, well..." I trailed of unsure what to say. Lissa elbowed me in the ribs, a comand to continue talking. I could feel her amusment and compassion through our bond.

"I asked them if they liked thier mom kicking thier dads butt." I spoke quickly.

Lissa groaned. I looked down at Dimitri who looked like he was ready to panic.

"You did what?" He exclaimed.

I rested my hand on his shoulder.

"They already know you and like you. Now they just know that you are thier dad."

"Yeah the dad who's ass was just kicked by thier mom." He answered dryly.

Lissa coughed to cover her laugh and I shot her a dirty look.

"Not helping." I hissed at her.

"But it's funny. Only you could do this in such a screwed up way." She answered laughing in full.

"Not to mention that I have never seen the great badass Gaurdian Belikov look so pale and rabbit like."

"Well I suggest that the badass suck it up because the twins are bouncing around over there. I am going to signal Adrian to bring them over here. I garuantee you that they will have a million questions. Not to mention they seem to always have an endless suply of energy."

I turned away and nodded to Adrian he smiled at me and grabbed each twins hand. As he walked over the twins bounced around chatting beside him.

When they reached us the twins fell silent and shuffled around until they were behind me. They both peered at Dimitri with wide eyes.

I looked down at them stunned. Never had I known them to be silent for long, especially both of them at the same time.

"Are you going to say hello?" I asked them.

They both looked up at me and Mason spoke first.

"He looks sick."

"What if he is sick on us?" Cally finished the sentence.

I looked back at Dimitri and had to stifle the laughter that was threatening to bubble out of my throat, he did look a little green.

"I dont think he is going to be sick. Mommy just shocked him thats all."

"Oh, ok." they said at the same time.

"His colours say he is happy and scared." Cally exclaimed cocking her head to the side.

"But he doesnt have to be scared of us we arent badass gaurdians yet." Mason stated matter of factly.

"Mason." I exclaimed. "You do not use that sort of language. Do you hear me?"

"Yes mom, sorry mom." He didnt look sorry.

"What are you two doing out of bed anyway?" I asked.

"Well Uncle Christian came and told us that you and Gaurd...I mean Dad were sparring in the gym. We wanted to come and watch."

"Dad..." Dimitri whispered. "I never thought I would hear that said and mean me." He smiled brightly at the kids and then looked up at me.

"Would you mind Roza if I came with you to put the children to bed. It is late after all."

I smiled and nodded.

"Aww Mom..." Cally said.

"We aren't a bit tired..." Mason smothered his mouth as a yawn cut of the rest of what he was about to say.

"Sure you aren't." I smiled down at them. "Come on maybe your father would like to read you a story tonight."

Both children swung thier heads up and smiled winningly at Dimitri. He smiled in return and nodded at them.

"Talk to you later." Liss said as we headed towards the door.

"Goodnight kids. Sweetdreams. Talk later my little dhampir." Adrian called to me. I knew he would be in my dreams tonight.

"Goodnight Uncle Adrian, Goodnight Aunty Lissa." The kids called as they raced out the doors of the gym.

I looked up at Dimitri. He was staring after them with a tender look upon his face. He turned and met my eyes.

"They called me dad." Was all he said to me in a quiet voice.

"Yeah they did and I suggest you get used to the idea, Comrade. We are going to have a lot of unknowns to deal with. You know that right? They already talk as if they see auras. Not to mention they know stuff, random stuff that they shouldnt know. They are special. I am not saying that because they are my children, its more than that. Heck they are born to two Damphirs. That alone should be impossible but hey here they are."

We walked together in silence to put our children to bed.

I was on the main strip of Vegas again. As I turned around I saw Adrian. He smiled at me, came over and put his arm around my waist. I rested my head on his shoulder and wound my arm around his waist in turn. It was a familiar postion for us.

"I will have my surprise all ready for you by tomorrow evening." He said to me.

I looked up at him "What suprise?" I asked.

He laughed "If i told you then it wouldnt be a surprise would it?"

I growled which only made him laugh some more.

"Fine." I grumped. "Hey! Being here reminds me, have you ever heard anything from Victor Dashkov?"

"He sends a letter to Lissa every month updating what he is doing but never where he is. He is worried about Robert, says he is getting worse with the side affects of spirit." Adrians voice was tight and I knew he was worrying about himself also.

"I didnt know he sent letters to Lissa. He mustn't worry or frighten her any more."

"The first couple did but now she is grateful for them. He sends as much information about spirit as he can. You can tell just from reading them that he doesnt want to harm or scare Lissa. Not that he could, what, with her being Queen and all. He has been alot of help with the trials."

"Adrian, what are these trials I keep hearing about?"

"That is for Lissa to explain to you. Its actually rather impressive."

I let out a long sigh. There is so much I still need to find out and learn about, not to mention I hated secrets that I wasnt apart of.

"I hate this. I hate the fact that there is still so much I dont know about. I dont know how much time is left. How the hell can I do what I am supposed to do when the time comes, if I keep worrying about everyone and everything that I dont know about?"

"Patience little dhampir. You will know all you need to before the time comes. Trust me this I do know."

"So you see the future too now do you?" I scoffed at him.

"No but I do get messages from certain shadow warriors."

That stopped me in my tracks.

"What.."

"Not now I will tell you when you are awake again. Now go back to your sleep. I am proud of you my little dhampir."

Adrian kissed me on my forhead and then the dream fadded.


	15. Trials and Surprises

**Sorry for the long wait. Things have been full on here at home. Dont fret even if there is a long wait I will still be updating the story. I am enjoying myself too much not to!**

I woke the next morning feeling better than I had in a long time. Walking out into the loungeroom I notice that the kids are quiet, they must still be asleep. I make my way into the kitchen to find Lissa filling up the kettle.

"Yes please." I say to her after a large yawn.

She looks at me and smiles.

"Chai?" She asks.

"What else. I still cant stand coffee. It tastes horrid and makes me jittery for ages afterwards."

"Its ment to. It is after all a stimulant." She says covering a yawn.

I laugh. "Yeah and do you really think I need extra stimulants for my system? Liss we need to talk while its quiet and just the two of us."

Lissa looks up at me while she is making the tea and coffee.

"Yeah we do. How about we drink these on the balcony. Then your noise wont wake the houeshold." She asks quietly.

I raise my eyebrows in a question. She thinks I am going to yell. Concentrating on the bond I cant get much from her except a slight feel of anticipation and resignation. Now I am as curious as a cat. I shrugg my shoulders and take my mug from her and grab a few breakfast bars from the box in the cupboard. I follow her out to the balcony and sit in the chair opposite her. I unwrap a bar and take a bite. Chewing thoughtfully. I suppose its best to be straight forward, I dont really know how to be anything else. I swallow and take a sip of my tea.

"Liss what are these trials I keep hearing about?" I ask. Its the one thing that keeps coming up and has me majorly confused, not to mention curious.

Lissa takes a deep breath.

"Please try to keep your voice down, because I know that once I explain you will want to rant and rave like a loonie."

Frowning I nod my head.

"OK here goes. After the success of bringing Dimitri back there was a whole lot of discussion about future possibilities. A few volunteer adult spirit users were trained intensly to fight and stake strigoi. Together with highly trained gaurdians they went out and staked any strigoi that was considered a safe target. Originally this worked well, thirteen were bought back with only three lives lost. Of those thirteen, two consiously chose to turn back to being strigoi. One was staked before he could harm anyone else. The other one, well, she made a mess. She killed so many then got away. It was after this that it was decided that a facility would be made away from the court or academys. Its location is a secrete known only buy a select few. There we have specially charmed cells that hold strigoi. We also keep the changed there for a couple of months untill we know wether or not they intend to go back to being strigoi. We are training more spirit users every year. We are also trying to work out away to make it easier and safer to turn strigoi back to what they were before."

I was silent. Mostly through shock, but I could feel anger bubbling in me also.

"Tell me you dont go to this facility." I asked through clenched teeth.

"I have and still do." She answered warily.

"Are there any strigoi there when you go?"

"There have been yes but mostly its the ones that are changed back to thier original state." She said flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"So you mean to say that you, the Queen, have been in the same building as strigoi intentionally."

"They cant hurt me and the ones who have been changed back dont want to hurt me. I am perfectly safe when I go. I take my Gaurdians also."

"The ones who have been changed dont want to hurt you? You mean just like that one that changed back and went on a killing spree?" I was yelling now, but it was not having any effect on Lissa. She sat there watching me with calm eyes and a little twist of a smile on her mouth.

"Rose do you really think I am so defenceless? I would not put myself in that kind of danger. Not that I would be allowed to anyway."

I looked down at my mug and struggled to get my temper under control.

"Lissa I worry about you. I can remember the mass service that you attended for all those that were killed by that strigoi. I was pulled into your head for that. I remember how you felt. I remember the guilt you felt but I couldnt work out why you would be feeling guilty. I guess now I know. More than anything if something should happen to you it would pretty much be the end of me. I have spoken to the shadow kissed warriors and they say that loosing your bondmate, well, they say that death would be less painfull. Even all those years that I wasn't by your side you were still here. Alive and living. I could still check on you and know what was happening. If I lost you Liss I dont know what I would do." I finished quietly.

Lissa reached across and held my hand.

"Rose, at least you got to see what I was doing. At least you got to be apart of my life in what ever small way it was. I didnt get that with you. All I knew was that you weren't dead. I didnt know you had twins. I didnt know that you were still training, that you were still living and not just giving up. Hell for a good while I had no idea that you still saw Adrian. Rose you pushed me out of your life once, and I understood it was something you needed to do. When you came back we made a promise to each other. When you left I felt that I had let you down, that I had failed you. Then I was mad as hell at you, because you didnt talk to me. I mean you had the bond I had nothing but gut feelings and instinct. Yes I had the auras also but you need to see a person to get a read on thier aura. I didnt see you for about two days before you disappeared. I mean I get now why you went and that you needed to go. Dimitri told me what he said to you that day in the church. He also said he regrets those words more than anything else he has ever done. Especially since they weren't true. He needed space and you needed something else from him. He was scared of what he would do to you.

There are so many should have's, would have's and could have's but none of that can change what has been. I forgave you the minute I saw you and the twins get off the plane. Now you need to forgive me and let me be Queen. I need you beside me Rose. You have always been my rock, even when you werent here."

Lissa and I both had tears streaming down our faces. I dragged my chair over next to hers. I put my arms around her and we hugged. Sniffling into each others P.J's.

"I dont know if I am ready to give Dimitri another chance." I say to her.

"That is for you to decide, but like I said he has regretted those words for years now. I imaging since finding out about the twins he regrets them a whole lot more."

"Yeah I guess. Its just hard to forget. When he said that to me it hurt so much. It was like he killed something inside of me. I just, its, Oh I dont know. I dont know anything anymore."

Lissa stood and dragged me up as well.

"So rest and relax for a few days. Adrian's surprise will be ready for you this arvo. Tomorrow I have organise to go to the facility so you can see it all for your self. You dont have to think about anything for a couple of days. Give your mind and heart a break. Tonight we are having a bit of a party, I will come a get you and the twins. Go and spend the day wandering around enjoy yourself. Oh and may I suggest you palm the twins off to Dimitri for the are going shopping you need some new cloths. The stuff you wear is practical and I looked in your suitcase and that stuff in there is not good for anything but working out in. I decided that you need some new stunning clothes as well as a hair cut and and I will see what else I can get sorted before we go."

"But you are going to need Gaurdians and such if you go of campus." I stammered it looked like whirlwind Lissa had made an apprearance.

"Yes, yes. I need Gaurdians you don't. You will not be on duty you are my geust and shopping partener. So no Duties for you. Do you hear me?" She asked in an Imperilious voice.

"Yes your majesty." I answered. I tried for meek but, well Rose Hathaway just doesnt do meek. Its sort of sounded like me being a smart ass, which I was.

They day passed with out much excitement. I palmed the kids of onto Dimitri much to all thier pleasure and went shopping with Lissa. It was just as much fun as I remember it being when we were teenagers.

We tried on endless amounts of clothing. I bought some makeup, the first time in years. I had my hair done and my nails. We ate at the food court. I hadnt laughed like that in such a long time. Lissa loaded me up with bags and bags of purchases from my make up to dresses through to shoes. Sitting in the car on the way home I rested my head on Lissa's shoulder.

"Ive missed you Liss."

"Yeah Ive missed you to Rose. Dont leave me again."

"I wont."

"You promise?"

"Yeah I promise."

We both dozed of leaning against each other just like old times.

I woke up when we stopped we were back at the academy. Climbing out the car door my eyes land on Adrian, the twins and Dimitri waiting for us.

"Mom we have a surprise for you." Mason says while hopping from foot to foot. I smile at him.

"Do you just?" I ask.

"You are going to love it Mom, we do." Cally is just as excited but contains her excitement better than her brother.

"Hmm what have you been up to then huh?" I ask them both while bending to hug them. I glance up at Adrian and he has a sparkle in his eyes.

"Adrian I hope you havent gone to much trouble, Or should I say done something to get you into trouble."

"My little Dhampir have some faith. Besides I need to set at least a little of an example for my beautiful neice and nephew." He answers me with a twinkle in his eyes.

I groan.

"Come on mom, come on." The kids chorus as they grab my hand and dragg me away.

"But the shopping." I try to tugg my hand out of thier grasp.

"I will get the shopping, you go with the children." says a smooth deep voice. I look up into Dimitri's eyes and smile.

"Okay, okay I am coming."

Mason and Cally drag me over to the faculty family building, through the doors and into the elevator. Adrian is only a step behind us.

We ride up to Lissa and Christians floor. When the door opens I head towards Lissa's apartment.

"No momma." Mason grabs my hand and drags me down the hall and around the corner. He stops at another door.

I look over at Adrian in confusion. He smiles at me and reaches into his pocket.

"Welcome home, My little Dhampir." He kisses me on the cheek and hands me a key.

I look at the key, then up at Adrian.

"Why do I want a key?" I ask dumbly.

"To open the door of course." He replies mildly.

"Oh."

I slide the key into the lock, unlock the door and open it.

Inside is all mine, Cally and Mason's stuff from our house.

"Adrian." I whisper tears falling down my cheeks. "How did you..." I trail of as I walk around the room.

"As soon as I found out you were on your way back home, I organised for all your stuff to be packed and sent here. I knew you wouldnt be going anywhere again." He wraps his arm around my shoulder. I wrap both my arms around him and hug him tightly.

"Can't...Breath.."

"Oops sorry." I blush.

"Its ok. I am glad you like your surprise. The kids helped organise the place and of course thier rooms. I will let you get settled in." he hugs me tightly " Like I said welcome home Rose."


	16. almost like old times

**OK guys Please keep the reviews coming...I will try and update a couple of times in the next 2 weeks after that I will be on holidays for 10 nights...BLISS..Anywayz...BTW This chapt is a little boring so bear with me.**

**Enjoy xx**

After Adrian had left I sat on my sofa and looked around. he had bought everything from our old house. I let the tears flow freely down my face they were after all, happy tears. I dont know how much time passed before there was a knock on the door. Sniffling and wiping at my eyes I went to answer the door.

Dimitri was standing there holding a huge pile of shopping bags. I looked at him puzzled, I hadn't bought that many. I was sure I hadn't.

"They aren't all mine." I say to him through another noisy wet sniffle.

"Actually they are. Lissa said to tell you that she got you a few extra things while you were busy trying on clothes." The corners of his mouth twitch into that half smile he does, and that I love. I smile in return and move aside to let him in.

"Now you have your own place." He says.

"Yeah, Adrian organised it. I am starting to think that he wasn't alone in this. As much as he would love to take all the credit, I get the feeling that he had a lot of help."

Dimitri chuckles softly. "That he did Roza, that he did."

My heart constricts at his use of my nick-name. I want to be angry and happy at the same time. I look down and turn away. I hear him move and put the bags down.

"I will leave you to settle in then shall I?" He asks while heading for the door.

"Dimitri wait. I..." I trailed off I have no idea what I want. He turned to look at me raising one eyebrow as he did. When I didn't make any attempt to finish what I had started to say he smiled at me.

"See you tonight Roza." He said quietly and shut the door behind himself.

I flopped onto the couch with a moan. What the hell was wrong with me? I never have a problem with expressing myself, let alone going after what I want. I guess that was it I didnt know what I wanted. How the hell can you hate and love some one at the same time? I know I said that I would give it a try, but hell, he did some damage to my heart the first time around. My heart isn't so big that I could handle it being wrenched to pieces a second time. Just before I could get really meloncholly over my love life mess Lissa called to me through the bond.

_Rose, come to my place and get ready. You only have a couple of hours before the party. Christian, Adrian and Dimitri have the kids. I kept one of your bags from our shopping trip at my place for you to wear tonight._

I sighed why did this not surprise me. Getting up I left my new place. Heading down the hall to Lissa's. I barely knocked once before the door was yanked open. I winced in sympathy for the doors hinges. Lissa was there with her hair wrapped in a towel. She smiled, grabbed my hand and dragged me inside.

"Um.. I kind of kept a few more than one bag of yours here. I forgot about the shoes and accessories that I kept back." Lissa smiled sheepishly at me. I smiled back I couldn't help myself at least she hadn't changed that much.

"Its fine Liss. Now this outfit is it one I picked out or one of the many that you bought without my knowledge?" I questioned her. I used my stern face the one that scares the crap out of everyone. Lissa squirmed under my hard gaze for all of five seconds before flouncing away. As she disappered into her room she shouted back at me.

"You just have to wait and see. I am not showing you till your out of the shower and all made up."

My stomach tightened. I groaned and checked the bond. Lissa had put up all her blocks and I couldnt get anything from her except a slight buzz of excitement and anticipation. As well as a whole lot of satisfaction. Sighing in resignation I walked into the bathroom to shower. It seems Lissa would be getting her way.

"Where is this party anyway?" I yelled over the sound of the shower.

"You'll find out." She yelled back.

I growled under my breath but she heard.

"Seriously Rose just wait. Its going to be will be heaps of people you know there."

"Like who?"

I was out of the shower now and drying my self. Looking around I saw a sexy black bra and matching boy leg underwear. They had a small amount of lace to accent certain areas, but they weren't overly lacey or girly looking. I put them on, not surprised that they fit me perfectly.

"Liss I asked you a question." I growl again.

"I know. I did hear you, but chose not to answer. You will find out soon enough."

I wrapped my hair in my towel and walked out of the bathroom. Lissa was dressed now and had her hair and makeup all done. She looked stunning in a form fitting long dress. It was dusty pink with a sheer layer of gold, for lack of a better word, lace over the top. It was low cut in the front with an open back that was criss crossed with thin spaghetti straps. It fit her form perfectly all the way down to her hips, then fell in long gracefull folds to the floor. Each fold subtly catching the light in a small twinkle of gold. Her hair fell in golden waves around her face. Add to that the gold strappy heels and gold nail polish. Needless to say she looked exquisit. Like an angel.

Lissa looked me up and down and smiled.

"Glad they fit." she said as she dragged me to the chair in front of her dresser.

"Humpff." Was all I got out before she started to busily do my make up and then my hair.

"I can't believe you hair is this long. I figured you would keep it at a certain length and that would be it. It what you used to do."

"Yeah well, people change Liss. I didnt have to much room in the ways I could change, so, I settled for a few small things." Little did she know, it was the things that he had like the most that I had changed first. My hair was number one on the list. Looking in the mirror at Lissa's reflection I sighed.

"I shaved my hair off when I first left you know." I told her.

She gasp and looked me in the eyes.

_why?_ She asked through the bond.

"It was one of the things he told me he loved about me. The fact that I had long hair. He told me not to cut it like other female Gaurdians. I was so happy when he told me that. I had been freaking out about what to do with my hair. I told him I didnt want to cut it and he simply said don't." I looked down as the painful memory came rushing back to me. "So I shaved my hair. Childish I know, but it was my way of getting back at him, even if he didnt know I had done it. It made me feel better, stronger. When it started growning back it grew fast and I decided what he said and wanted didn't matter to me anymore. I had my life and wasn't apart of it."

"Oh Rose. Where things so horrible? Why didnt you tell me? Or even call me? I would have been there, I would have helped you."

"No Lissa. You had another path to take. I knew that you had to stay here. That you would be instigator of change and you have. I am proud of you Liss, so proud."

Lissa gave me a wobbly smile as she wraped her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Lets get that famouse Rose Hathaway shinning again." Lissa whispered fiercly. I smiled and sat still like any best friend would.

Almost an hour later and I was just about ready.

"Now for the dress." Lissa announced.

I stood waiting as she went into her robe and came out with a black dress. It was silk and was in an oriental style. It had subtle embossed flowers in red all over it. I smiled at Lissa the dress was stunning. I sighed as it slid over my head and settled on me perfectly. It was form fitting and stopped mid thigh. Lissa did the button up at the back and gave me gentle shove over to the mirror. I twirled and laughed at myself. I hadn't been this dressed up in forever. I sat on the bed as Lissa handed me a pair of high strappy stilletos. I smiled at least I had kept up with walking and fighting in heels.

"Ok your all set." she smiled as she hooked her arm through mine and we headed out the door. As soon as we left her room I could here music and laughing. It sounded like it was coming from this floor. There were only two apartments on each floor. But surely they wouldn't.

"Lissa where is that music coming from?" I questioned her.

Lissa kept dragging me along without giving me any acknowledgment at all. Just as I was about to start digging the heels in, we rounded the corner and stopped at my door. Plastered all over the door were photos of me and my friends over my school years. Written in the centre of the photos was 'Welcome Home Rose'. I turned to look at Lissa. She smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

"Its your homecoming and house warming party. We started planning it a couple of days ago and have invited all your old friends."


	17. Party

**Okay guys sorry for the long absence, but I was on holidays with my family. Ten magnificent nights in Bali. It was brilliant but now back to reality. I have been doing a whole heap of thinking about this story and I have come up with a way for it to end. So there will be a few more chapters yet, dont panic. Once again please please REVIEW. I love reading them and it gives me more incentive to write. **

**Enjoy. xx**

I opened the door to my apartment and walked inside. Looking around I couldnt believe the people who where looking right back at me and smiling.

"Welcome home Rose." They all yelled.

I smiled and felt tears come to my eyes.

"Now the party can get started with my magnificent self here." I yelled laughing at the same time.

I made my way over to the drinks.

"Hathaway, you still look as hot as ever." I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned around to see who it was. Jessie Zeklos.

"Dont tell my wife I said that though. She will kill me." He laughed at me. I smiled my man eating smile and looked him up and down. He had gained a little weight and looked older but that was it.

"You married?" I half asked half stated. " How on earth did you find someone who would put up with your hair brained shit? Not to mention your famous royal attitude?" I asked

He laughed aloud "I got lucky. Extremely lucky."

I laughed too I couldnt help it he didnt seem to be the stuck up royal he once was.

"Here let me introduce you to her." He put his hand under my elbow and started to steer me to the other side of the room, to a beautiful brown haired woman with freckles. I stared at her there was something very familiar about her.

"Oh my gosh Rose. I haven't seen you in forever." She gushed and gave me a hug. Okay I was feeling a bit like a tool. I felt like I should know her, like I did know her.

"Rose I would like to introduce you to my lovely wife Jillian."

Ah, the light bulb flicked on then.

"Jailbait?" I asked.

She laughed, a beautiful musical laugh.

"The one and only." She answered.

"How the hell did you end up marrying him." I blurted out.

"Hey I wasnt that bad was I?" Jessie stammered indignantly.

"Ah yes, you were." I shot back.

"Well we met up about two years ago at a ball and he asked me out, I said yes and the rest is history."

"I am sure it is." I said warily turning to Jessie I asked

"What happened to you to pull your head from your ass?"

He looked down at the floor solmnly and in a hushed voice answered me.

"My Grandmother and quite a few of my family were attacked in thier own house just after you had dissapeared. We have fire users in my family and none of them knew how to fight with their gifts. Only three people survived even though they were badly injured. I decided that I was going to learn deffensive magic and do all I could to help other young moroi to learn as well. Loosing loved ones can be quite a wake up call." He looked up sadly.

I stepped forward and hugged him.

"Sorry for what happened. At least some good came of it though." I said into his ear as I hugged him.

He smiled and seemed to get a twinkle in his eye.

"I have some good news. I would like you to be the first to know. I am going to be a father. Jill is three and a bit months pregnant."

"Thats excellent. You wont look back kids are a blessing and trust me when I say you will love, hate, and be in awe of every minute of being a parent. I should know I have two of them." I gave Jessie another hug and then hugged Jill. She beemed at me and Jessie wrapped his arm around her waist as he kissed her cheek.

"I better go and see who else from my bright and wonderful past is here." I said to them both as I walked off into the crowd. Making my way back to the drinks for a refill I wondered where Jessie's side kick Ralph was. Perhaps he had had a change of heart like Jessie had.

"Oi Hathaway get over here." I heard Eddie roaring my name. I scooped up a drink and headed towards his voice.

"What." I demanded once I found him.

He grinned down at me and shoved me towards a group of people. "Its photo time and since you are looking so damn fine you get to be in the front of this photo, and every other photo after this."

As I stumbled forward I was stopped by a number of hands. Looking around me I felt a smile spread across my face. It was all my old class mates. The dhampirs I trained with year in and year out. Well almost all of them. I felt my face fall slightly at who wasnt there.

Feeling a solid arm go around my shoulders I looked up into the understanding eyes of Eddie.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked me quietly.

"Yeah just remembering." I replied.

"I know. He is at peace now though and probably watching you and abusing you for not haveing fun." Eddie said

"Your probably right. I just wish he could have been here too. You know. I miss him everyday." I wiped at the tears that threatened to leak from my eyes.

"Yeah I do know. You did him the greatest of honours though. You named your son after him, and that boy of yours is going to be one hell of a gaurdian. How can he not be with a name like that? Not to mention a mother and father like he has. Huh?" Eddie said fiercly hugging my shoulders tight.

I smiled "Your right."

"Okay is everyone ready?" Mia yelled.

Everyone started shuffling around and I found myself being held aloft by a number of people. Like I was Cleopatra or something. Then I had an idea.

Raising my glass in the air I shouted.

"MASON" The rest of the group and then the rest of the room took up the shout.

I felt Lissa through the bond.

_He would have been so proud of you Rose. _

I smiled across the room at her and mouthed "thankyou"

I found myself handed around the room from person to person, the camera flashed away at every turn. A couple of hours into the night the DJ kicked up the sound and the dancing began. I dance with what felt like everyone.

I was heading towards the drinks again because a slow song was on to give everyone a breather. When I felt someone behind me. I stiffened until I heard the voice.

"Roza, Do me the honour of having this dance with me?"

I turned slowly and looked into deep brown eyes.

"But I need a drink." I replied drunkenly.

He chuckled softly sending shivers through me.

"You have had plenty to drink tonight. I am sure you can go without for a few minutes. Just one dance?" he asked again holding his hand out. I smiled and placed my hand into his. His voice and the way he was looking at me was doing delicious things to my body.

He led me to a space just infront of the DJ and we started to waltz. He led and I followed. Staring deep into his eyes I forgot all about the party and the guests. It felt like it was just the two of us in the room. As he led me around he softly sung the words to the song we were dancing to. Distantly I thought it must be an eighties song is Dimitri knew the words, but, for once I didnt care. When the song finished he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. I smiled and carressed his cheek with the same hand.

"Now lets get you a drink." He said huskily.

I smiled and turned in the direction of the drinks table took one step then froze. The room had gone silent and all eyes were on us. Slowly I turned all the way around. Everyone was watching us.

"Well. I hope it was entertaining. Maybe I should have charged entrance fees." I said in my cocky Rose Hathaway voice.

Everyone laughed and clapped. The DJ cranked up the music and the room started pumping again.

I walked towards the drink table and stood behind a guy in a suit. Waiting for him to hurry up so I could get a drink. I started tapping my foot with impatiance. What was taking this fool so long?

"Rose havent you ever heard that patience is a virtue?" Came a smooth cultured voice from the guy in front of me.

I let out a small sigh of impatience.

"And havent you ever heard of never getting between Rose and her drinks when she has her party on?" I asked

The man infront of me turned slowly around and smiled. "Its good to see you again, well, in person that is." He smiled at me. At least the scarf today was only a mild saphire blue.

"You too old man." I replied "Hang on. What do you mean in person? Aw man you knew where I was the whole time didnt you?"

"You are my daughter Rose. Cally and Mason are my grandkids. Of course I knew where you were. Still it took me a few months to find you, then when Adrian took of for no particular reason I followed."

I groaned " I should have known, but I kind of had other things on my mind. Ya know?" I asked him.

"Hmm yes I worked that out pretty quickly."

"Does mom know I am here? Does she know about the kids?" I asked, cringing mentally.

"She knows as much as I do. I told her when I found you and I told her what you were upto. Had to almost chain her down so she wouldnt go and dragg you back. Once she was told about you extra training and such she calmed down. Mind you she is still a bit pissed that you didnt tell her yourself that she had grandchildren."

"What else was I supposed to do? I was pregnant with twins to another dhampir. I could barely wrap my mind around it let alone telling every one else." I whispered fiercly. " I mean shit, two dhampirs are not supposed to be able to have one baby together, let alone twins."

He smiled at me and patted me on the shoulder.

"Yes yes. They are special. You my dear have handle things brilliantly. Ok, well, maybe not brilliantly but you handled things, you got through it and you have been doing a fine job of raising them. I am proud of you Rose."

I felt my face flush at the praise.

I opened my mouth to speak but the DJ came over the sound system announcing that the party was coming to an end. This earned him a lot of boo's and groaned protests.

He consented to playing one more song then that was it.

After the song everyone started filing out the door. Lissa walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek.

"See you in the morning Rose. Hope you had a great night."

I smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek

"The best" I whispered back to her.

Smiling she walked out the door holding christians hand.

Next came Eddie he hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek also.

"Mase would have been so proud of you Rose. I am proud of you."

I hugged him back tightly and whispered in his ear.

"He would have been proud of both of us. Especially you my dear friend." Eddie gave me one last squeeze then headed out the door.

When the door closed I looked around the room. Not too much of a mess for a party really. A couple of plates her and a couple of glasses there. Filling my glass with bubbly I started to pick up the mess. It took me four glasses of bubbly to clean up, so not that long at all. Walking past the table I grabbed the bottle and flopped onto my couch. I smiled. My couch. Flicking on the TV I was about to refill my glass when the door bell rang. Refilling my glass first I wandered over in the general direction of the door. Pulling the door open I was surprised to see Dimitri and Christian carrying the twins, who were fast asleep.

"I thought they were staying the night with the baby sitter one floor down?" I asked.

"Roza I thought it woudl be nice if you had them with you for you first night in your new home." Dimitri replied softly.

"Yeah that would be nice. You know where their room is comrade."

I pulled the door wide so they could walk in without bumping it. Once the kids were settled in bed Christian left. Dimitri hovered near the door.

"Want to have a drink withme Comrade?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow at me and chuckled quietly.

"Havent you had enough to drink Roza?" He asked me

"Not nearly." I replied with a smile. "You can join me or leave. Your dissicion. Either way I am not done drinking yet."

He sighed grabbed a glass and sat down beside me. I poured him a glass, topped mine up and put the bottle on the ground near the lounge. Resting my back on the arm of the chair I propped my feet on his lap.

"So comrade. What do we toast to?" I asked

"How about secind chances?" He said staring into my eyes.

"Second chances it is then." I smiled back.


	18. Drunk and feeling

**OK sorry once again for the late up date. **

**Please Please review. I love reading them and it gives me the excitement to keep writing. **

**Enjoy xx**

I raised my glass and Dimitri did the same. Taking a swallow of the bubbly I looked around my apartment, then looked back at Dimitri. It felt so right him being here, like he was ment to be here. I sighed and tilted my head back and stared at the cieling.

"Whats wrong Roza?"

I glanced at him. "Just remembering." I replied.

"Ahh." He was quiet for a moment. "And what would you be remembering?" He asked quietly.

"Everything. I lived here for so long and now I am back. People seem to think I will be here for the rest of my life so to speak. Yet there is so much that hasn't happened yet. So much that I know is going to happen. There are going to be many broken hearts when this is all done." I was surprised at my self for telling him so much. I guess at times you just needed to get things off your chest.

"Roza." Dimitri leant over. I felt his warm fingers on my chin, he tilted my head down so I was looking him in the eyes. "What are you talking about. It sounds like you know whats coming. Please tell me what the prophecy is you know it dont you?" I shook my head at him.

"I dont know it. I have never been told it. I asked once, but I was told I didnt need to know it. That if I did know it would influence my decisions." I was pissed at that, and the tone of my voice showed it. "All I know is that I have this feeling that everything is not going to end well. That people are going to be heart broken over the losses. I am not even sure who is on each side and I have absolutely no idea as to who will come out victorious. I get these feelings all the time and I am very rarely wrong." I sat up and snuggled under his arm. Dimitri wrapped his strong arm around me and I could smell his after shave. I subtly tried to wipe the tears off my cheeks that had escaped my eyes.

Dimitri squeezed me tighter. "I wont let anything happen to you my Roza. I have only just gotten you back." He told me fiercly.

"I dont intend on going anywhere." I said. I knew I lacked the conviction with which he spoke but I couldnt help it. I was drunk and exhausted. All I wanted to do was close my eyes. So much for not being finished with this night. My eyes drifted shut and I snuggled closer to Dimitri. I vaguely felt him take the glass out of my hand. I dont know how long we sat on the couch like this when Dimitri got up and gently picked me up. He carried me into my room, after I went to the little ensuite to change into a tank top and some comfortable cotton underwear, He tucked me into the covers. I snuggled down into the pillow. I opened my eyes a little as Dimitri turned the lights off. He was about to walk out of the room when I had this horrible feeling of never seeing him again.

"Dont." I called hoarsly. "Please stay. I need you beside me please."

"Anything for you Roza." He answered quietly. The bed dipped a little as he sat on the edge to remove his shoes. I held the quilt up for him as he removed his shirt. He slid into the bed quietly and held his arm open for me. I slid over and snuggled up to him laying my head on his chest.

The last thing I remember was Dimitri kissing me on the head and saying goodnight.

**OK sorry for the shortness of this chapt but the next part has to be just right. Also huge sorry for the cliffy. The next couple of chapters will be pretty full on so stay tuned.**

**To every one who has put this story as a favourite or alerted it thank you all. It means so much to me. Ok I will try my hardest to get the next couple of chapters up ASAP...**

**Thank you all so much..xx**


	19. BreakfastAnd more !

**OK so lots of reasons as to why I have been so so late in updating one of which being that my partner has just had pretty big surgery on both knees, the other two being that I am working full time now and also of course it has been the silly season. But its all good. I really want to get to at leat 100 reviews. Thats my personal goal so please read then review. **

**Enjoy xx**

I rolled over and slowly opened my eyes. I could hear the twins giggling in the kitchen. With a groan I hauled my self out of bed. I had a slight headache, it was bearable. Opening the bedroom door I inhaled deeply when the smell of fresh bread hit me.

"Something smells wondeful." I called as I made my way to the kitchen.

"We made breakfast." Cally called bounding up to me with a very pleased smile on her face.

"With fresh bread. Dim..I mean dad helped us." Mason came over looking very pleased with himself. They grabbed a hand each and towed me over to the dining room table.

"Oh is that so? Dimitri helped you? I would have thought it would have been the other way around huh?" I asked with a slight smile.

"No Roza the children had it right. I helped them. It was thier idea." I looked up into his deep brown eyes and became acutely aware of what I had on, or more to the point what I didnt. When did I become so modest? I Looked back down at the table. When the silence remained I looked back up and met Dimitri's small crooked smile. He was waiting for me.

"Did you ask me something?" I questioned.

"Yes I did." He said with amusement in his voice. "I asked if you would like some coffee. The bread still has a few more minutes before its ready."

I grimaced and shuddered "I.." I started to say when I was abruptly cut off by Cally.

"Mom doesnt like coffee. She drinks Chai. You should remember that." She admonished Dimitri.

I put my hand over my mouth to stifle the laughter that threatened to bubble out.

" I had forgotten." Dimitri said demurely seeming properly chastized. Cally beamed at him. "I wonder what else I have forgotten." he said so quietly that I barely heard him. I glanced up from looking at Cally and he caught my eye with a tender look of yearning.

I looked away and stood abuptly.

"If the bread has a few more minutes then I am going to have a shower and get dressed." I announced hastely.

"Roza?"

He said my name like a question but I didnt turn around on my way back to my room. Once back in my room with the door shut firmly behind me I started pacing back and forth.

I loved him. I knew I always would. So why did I flee like a mouse fled from a cat? Taking a deep breath I walked into the bathroom and turned the fawcet on. The hot water misted up the small bathroom quickly but I didnt mind. Stepping under the hot spray I sighed deeply. Nothing beat a nice hot shower. I took my time washing my hair. When I had rinsed lathered and repeated I reached for my body wash. Squinting as the water ran into my eyes.

"Let me help you with that." Said that deep liquid voice.

I squeeked with shock.

"What are.." I trailed of as Dimitri stepped into the shower with me. I soaked in the sight of his body from his feet all the way upto his face. He had a twinkle in his eyes and a half grin on his lips.

"See something you like?" He asked.

I smiled remembering the times I had said exactly the same thing to him time and again.

"Mmm Hmm." I said as I reached up to brush his hair out of his eyes. Dimitri caught my hand and kissed my wrist. He drew me closer to him and lent down. His lips on mine felt like a lightening strick. I wrapped my hands around him our wet bodies moulding together perfectly. When he drew away I faught to catch my breath before asking.

"Where are the twins?"

"I sent them to Lissa's with a loaf of bread and ask her to occupy them for a while. I sent her a text and told her we had important things to discuss with out small ears hearing. I will text her again when we are done my Roza."

I looked at him skeptically. Closing my eyes I focused on Lissa. She was happily watching the kids eat at the table, she was also feeling smug satisfaction.

Coming back to my self I laughed out loud.

"Comrade she so knows we are not talking. Or at least that we are not even about to talk."

"I dont care what she knows." Dimitri replied in a husky voice, as he lent forward and kissed me again. Trailing soft kisses down my neck he lifted me out of the shower, hastily dryed me off and carried me to bed.

He laid me down gentley then lent over me. His eyes smouldering with love, lust and need.

"My memory has not done you justice. You are more magnificent than I remember." He whispered to me just before he lent down and kissed me. His kiss matched what was in his eyes, and I responded in kind.

We explored each others bodies. It was exactly what I had dreamed of for all these years and more. This love between us was fierce and gentle at the same time.

When we had finished I lay sated in his arms. My mind wondered back to the many times when I had longed just for this. Being in his arms and feeling the safety they provided. I also remembered the hurt he had caused me so deeply. I forced that out of my head, it would always be there but I couldnt let it affect the future that may or may not be between us. I was no longer a silly young girl anymore, I had been through to much and there was still more to go through. For now I was going to enjoy the cpmpanionship and fun. After, well I would deal with after if it ever can to be...


	20. NAUGHTY KITTEN!

Hey guys so so sorry about being absent. I have had a slight problem. My EXTREMELY naughty cat knocked my laptop off my desk and has damaged it severely. Thankfully I have been able to save my work and I should be back to good in a few weeks. Please Please dont shrugg my story off as one of those that will never be finished, it will be I promise. I will say this though, my cat is very lucky I was at work or I believe I would have comitted feline murder...I want to thank all my readers and reviewers, You are all FABULOUS! I will be back into as soon as I can...Thanks for your patience...

Love and Hugs...

Pearls1982 xxxx


	21. Phone Calls

**Right HUGE SORRY for the long time taking in updating. I have managed to use my old laptop a least to do this. I live in a very remote area and its a good few hours to a decent town to do any shoppping, so I still havent replaced my cat mangled laptop. Hope you enjoy the chapter, I will try very very hard to get another chapt up ASAP. Also I should have a new lappy next month...WOOHOO!**

**Thanks for your support and patience...**

**Luv ya all to the moon and back...**

**Enjoy...xx**

**Oh and please review...I love em. **

As I got dressed I kept glancing over at Dimitri. He looked up at me and smiled. Blushing I ducked my face. He walked over to me and placed his hand under my chin tilting my face up so he could look into my eyes.

"Please don't ever hide your face from me Roza." Leaning forward he gave me a quick kiss before heading towards the bedroom door.

"I will go and get the twins." He smiled and walked out the door. Once I heard the front door shut I sighed and sat on the bed. I closed my eyes and found Lissa. She had just answered the door.

"I hope you got everything sorted." She said to Dimitri with a smirk.

"Yes I believe we have." he replied with a smirk of his own.

_We are so going to have to have a talk about this Rose. Oh, and I had to postpone the trip to the compound where the trials are. I have Queen stuff to do it seems. _

I smirked myself then. It seemed that Lissa didnt quite enjoy being queen as much as she led people to believe.

Though I was a bit pissed that we would have to post pone the trip to the compound. Hearing my phone ring I walked out and scooped it up off the table. Looking at the number I took a deep breath and walked out onto the balcany. I opened the phone and answered.

"Anna."

_Rose the time is nearly upon us. What are your plans for the next couple of days?_

I took a deep breath. Anna was the leader of the Shadow Kissed Warriors. She was the one who trained me. Taught me the old ways.

"I plan on going with Queen Vasilisa to the royal court and then she is going to take me to the compound where they do these trials."

_Good let me know what time you will be at the compound and make sure that you have your swords. Let me know as soon as you do Rose, no exceptions._

She hung up the minute she was finished talking. Anna hated phones, yet she agreed that they were exceptionally handy little devices.

Shaking my head I walked back inside just as Dimitri and the kids walked in the front door. Dimitri looked at me puzzled.

"Everything ok Roza?" He asked me quietly.

I nodded and glanced at the twins quickly, hoping he would get the point. He did and nodded his understanding.

"So where is this bread that my darling children baked for me?" I asked. The twins bounced around in excitement.

"Can we finish making moms breakfast?" Cally asked.

"Yeah she needs to eat or she will get grumpy." Mason piped in.

I scowled at them. Dimitri chuckled.

"Come on then lets have that breakfast then." Dimitri herded the kids to the kitchen.

"Didn't you eat at Aunt Lissa's?" I called after them.

"Yes" they chorused together.

"But we are hungry again." They giggled together as they so often did when they spoke in unison.

"MmmHmm." I walked into the kitchen looking at my phone. "Is there a lawyer on the campus any where?"

Dimitri glanced up at me "I don't believe so. Why do you want a lawyer?"

"Just to sort a few things out. You know since you know about the kids and all."

"Roza there is something you are not telling me."

I glanced up at him to see worry etched in the lines around his eyes. "No there isn't." I answered too quickly. I sighed "I will tell you more when I can." I amended adding under my breath. "If I get the chance."

"Ok I trust you Roza. You are going to the royal court soon, there should be numerous lawyers there."

I smiled at him in thanks.

"I need to go and see Lissa after breakfast. Sort out all the details of going to the court and this other place."

Dimitri's eyes tightened.

"Comrade." I whispered in a question.

"Its hard going to the compounds. I see them and think of how I was. I look into thier eyes and see the horrors they have done, see the release they want from it. Some of them are that haunted by what they have done that they either change back again or comitte suicide. Now its even harder when I see what I have missed out on because I was so stuck in my own self pity. I was only strigoi for a few months some of these poor souls have been that way for years upon years."

I take a deep breath, never did I think of what it must be like for him to see others go through what he did. I pull my chair out from the table with a clumsy hand, and sit heavily.

"Do you go there often?" I ask him with out looking up from the table.

"I go every time Lissa goes. After that first episode I decided that no one could protect her as well as I could."

My head whips up at his comment, I scowl and start to say something but he puts his hand up and speaks before I can.

"You weren't here." He says bluntly.

I feel like I have been slapped across the face as well as punched in the gut.

"Yeah" I force the word out between my clenched teeth. "I wasn't here was I? Wonder why that was Comrade. Oh thats right I had other PERSONAL things to take care of."

"Roza I didn't mean it like that. Its this topic, it hits a nerve with me. I don't blame you for leaving." He sighs "If anything I blame myself. Just one more thing to add to the long list of things I screwed up."

He walks over to me and places a fresh cup of chia on the table in front of me. I reach out to take the cup and my hand brushes his. The familiar spark of electricity passes between us. I smile up at him.

"There is a lot of, um, stuff I have to get used to. Not just me though. The twins, Lissa, You. All of us have to readjust. We will get there though Comrade."

"I know." He smiles his full heart searing smile at me and I just about slide off the chair.

We ate breakfast to the sounds of the twins chattering away and planning thier day. Which seemed to consist of going to the Gym and staying there untill they had to go to bed.

Not likely to happen, but hey I wasn't about to upset the morning any more than my outburst had earlier on.

Once the dishes were done and everything was cleaned I grabbed the twins and headed over to Lissa's.

Andrea opened the door and threw herself into my arms. I hugged her tightly and put her back onto her feet. As I watched the three children run off to play I turned to Lissa.

"I need the number of a good lawyer at court. I have a few things to sort out. You know now that Dimitri knows the kids and all." I blush slightly as she raises and eyebrow.

"I have a card here for a good lawyer. He isnt royal but thats why I like him. He doesn't get caught up with all that crap." She smiled as she handed me the card.

"What do you have to sort out now that Dimitri knows the twins?" Lissa continues to question me.

Staring at the card I answer her in as little words as possible.

"My last will and testament."


End file.
